Here's to a Fresh New Year in 2014!

I am sitting here, all alone, on New Year's Eve.

Now understand, this is not necessarily a bad thing.

Sure, I'd love to be having fun with friends, but I also cherish having the house to myself, and having time to relax, and reflect, on this night of new beginnings is a perfect way to ring out the old and ring in the new.

My daughter is back at school, my husband at work, and my son out with friends for pizza. Leaving me with the fireplace, a cup of tea, and my computer. Not a bad deal in my mind!

I started out today with some fresh starts. Picked up my fun new eyeglasses today - and then dyed my hair to cover that horrific gray. I'm not against gray hair AT ALL - but personally, I'm just not ready to be that person yet. I think I'm getting close, but at 43, I still like to have fun a bit.

I don't really do resolutions. I do make lists though. Of things I'd like to do in the coming year. I've thought long and hard about this year's list, and once it was finished, smiled at how my lists have changed over the last few years. What used to be unrealistic, impersonal "resolutions" like "losing weight, eating healthier, exercising more, being more organized", are now much more personal things. For instance, 2012 included learning to make bread, and 2013 included reviving my sewing skills. Both were accomplished. Because they were attainable. They were personal. They were me.

In 2014, I would like to:

Crochet a prayer shawl for myself
Study simple sauces, and learn to use them more in my cooking
Find a way to play my violin in church
Create a winter garden
Improve my knitting skills

I very much look forward to exploring each of these. They are areas that I think would improve the quality of my life, and I am excited about them. That is what resolutions should be - focusing on improving our lives - living life - enjoying life.

Life is too short. What are you going to do this year to have fun? To live life?

God's Blessings for an amazing year ahead in 2014!

Toasting 2013..the year of the visits.

2013 was an amazing year. I've blogged before about "visiting" - taking time to visit family and friends, and this year we had so many gifts. We started off the year spending time with a dear friend from college out east, and on the way home stopped at family in Fort Wayne and friends in Stoughton. I again spent a long weekend out west with college friends there, and while my husband was on a 3 week motorcycle trip, I took four mini trips - one to visit college friends for a weekend, one to visit with high school friends, one to spend with my sister, nieces, and great-nieces, crafting the weekend away, and yet another girls weekend with them, without the kids. We had a mini family reunion with my siblings, cousins, and an aunt, AND we stayed with our former Pastor and wife. So much time to visit people! And we were also Blessed with visits to US!. My Nebraska friends again came out for multiple visits. Additionally our NOLA kids came up for a week, and I had multiple mini visitors in between - including friends I used to work with, friends who have moved away. It was a whirlwind of a year to say the least! And full of so many Blessings. It wasn't all easy. We had more than our share of issues. Ups and downs like no other. But in the end, we have each other, we have our health, and we have our home. That is all that we've realized we need to be truly happy. So I am saying a prayer of thanksgiving tonight as I reflect on the year. Thankful for all of the people that are in our lives, and all that we've been able to make contact with this year. I couldn't ask for anything more...

Passing on my love for family traditions...

We are in the heart of Christmas right now, with cookies being baked, the tree being decorated, preparations at church... so much.

I always miss having my daughter around me at this time of year. I miss having her here to be baking with, decorating the tree, shopping, wrapping presents. Off away at college, she won't be here until the 23rd late, so much of the prep will be over by then.

My son, still at home - age 16 - is wonderful to have here. He has been helping with everything - decorating, baking... And I didn't realize that any of it mattered to him until this last week. And it warms my heart.

I am in the middle of baking literally hundreds of dozens of cookies. Multiple varieties - for family and friends. He has been helping with all aspects, and of course, has been my main taste tester. I have about a dozen cookies and candies that I make every year, and I didn't realize that the tradition of my baking mattered to him.

One day this week, on the way home from practice, we were talking about the baking I was doing that night. He surprised me by telling me that I need to write all the recipes for my cookies down - for his sister and him - for Christmas. Not this year, because it's probably too late, but next year. I love that he wants my recipes - and wants to carry them on.

Then last night, he surprised me again. We were finishing the decorating of the tree. He commented that maybe when his sister gets home, she could add some to it, so she could be part of it too.

I am so very proud of the young man he has become. This week he has shown me even more about what is in his heart, and what family means to him.

T minus 14 days.

I taught today - 5th grade - one of my favorite ages to teach. Early in the morning, as I logged on, I noticed the date in the bottom right corner of the screen.

12/11/13

12/11? 12/25 is Christmas.. let's see... do the math, 25-11 = 14.

WHAT? Christmas is TWO WEEKS from today? You cannot be serious! I was so AHEAD. Why, just yesterday - at craft day - I was bragging as I started my Christmas cards, bragging about being so far ahead! Seriously!

I have too much to do in two weeks. It CAN'T be two weeks. I need more time!

I bake for friends. I have 72 dozen mixed cookies due on Sunday night. And another 40+ dozen the following week! I have great ideas for my presents - but HAVE NOT GONE SHOPPING YET! The tree? Well, it got put up yesterday, but is only half decorated!

There is no way I can get everything done in two weeks. No. We need more time.

In addition to the baking, shopping, tree decorating, card writing, wrapping, and everything else holiday, we have the youth group Christmas party at our house this Saturday, a 4 hour holiday program on Sunday, basketball games throughout the next two weeks, the Sunday school program on the 21st, and my family Christmas on the 22nd.

I think for the next hour after my realization, I was actually in shock. I couldn't stop thinking about all I still had to do. And then I realized, I'll get done what I get done!

I have to do the baking, as they are for friends. The rest, we'll wing.

And in the end, the reason we celebrate on December 25th stays the same, no matter what remains undone.

The Dunn County Cookbook

My mom was an amazing cook and baker. She was always baking treats for some event or another, and I love to think that she is smiling down on me when I am in my baking frenzies.

As I've blogged before, I love to use things that were my mom's - like her plastic spoon, a recipe she had copied for me, etc.

Today I am making multiple varieties of Christmas cookies and candies for a friend. It's my first baking of the season and I am very excited! I need to make fudge, and spent way too much time on Pinterest and the web trying to find a recipe I wanted to try. When it hit me.

COOKBOOK

Try a cookbook!

I have tons of cookbooks - every type you can think of - and sometimes I just don't remember to pull them out. My mom had a lot of cookbooks too, and before she died, she had marked them for my daughter. So I don't have them, but I have been watching estate sales for certain ones that she used a lot. And one of those - the Dunn County Cookbook from 1972 - I've actually had for years. I found one at a garage sale for $1.00. The old adage "one man's junk is another treasure" couldn't be more true!

I remember mom using the DCC a lot at Christmas for candies and cookies, so today I pulled it out. While it's not her copy, it's the same to me, missing only her handwritten notes on recipes she tried. Time to start adding my own notes!

My wish for you...chicken noodle soup and fresh bread!

I have not blogged in so long! I have a big craft sale this weekend, so I've been up to my eyeballs in glitter, modge podge, yarn, and everything in between. And I have the house mostly decorated for Christmas, all that can go up before the sale (space constraints), and the Christmas card ordered! So I've been a busy little beaver!

I've been up and moving since 6 am, getting things done. I ended up with 2 1/2 days teaching this week, so today is my big day to get things finished. But I've taken a break for lunch, sitting down to homemade chicken noodle soup and fresh bread, and I was struck by it- this is one of the things that so many people are missing out on.

You have to remember, that I was not always the stay at home domestic... I worked in management for almost 20 years. So I was one of those missing out for many years.

Missing out on what? 

When I say homemade chicken noodle soup, I mean homemade. Yesterday I boiled a chicken with onion, carrot, and celery, for several hours to make the stock. The chicken was a locally grown chicken from the Amish. The bread? I made it fresh this morning. This is not something I did often, if at all, when I was working full time. But even with that, I DID enjoy foods like this growing up. Even though my mother worked full time after I was born, she was an amazing cook, and our food growing up was from scratch while I was young.

While chicken soup and bread is a simple lunch, to me, the fact that every bit of it is homemade, wholesome, good-for-you comfort food, that I prepared for my family, means so much. And then I wonder... how many people have never had the pleasure of something so simple and good? On a cold wintery day (-5 degrees F wind chill today!), to enjoy the taste of this amazing simple homemade lunch, to me, is a Blessing. And I wish for all of you that you get to enjoy the same, if not always, at some point. Because there is such comfort and goodness in it.

Thankful...

Thanksgiving preparations are under way. Every year I get to host 22 of my husband's family, and it's something I look forward to for weeks before.

Our home is not large. It's actually rather small. But every year, we find a way, to have three tables set for a sit-down Thanksgiving dinner for all of us.

Today was a day to reclaim the house. I cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom, emptying shelves, disinfecting, decluttering, and organizing drawers and cupboards. It feels amazing to have a fresh kitchen ready to cook. A few more fall decorations were added, and the house put in order.

I baked a couple of loaves of bread to use in the stuffing, cubed them up, and have them out to dry. The recipes have been pulled and the grocery list made, and the ham is thawing in the fridge.

The next few days will be crazy. Grocery shopping, pie baking, and cooking. We need to pull up the family dishes, get everything washed, and tables set.

The best part of this week is my daughter returning from college. I love having her by my side throughout the preparation - cooking old family recipes together. And I love that the holiday means as much to her, as it does to me.

So this is my calm before the storm. I'm taking the night to sit on the couch watching holiday movies on Hallmark and drinking eggnog. Tomorrow morning the rush begins. And in 24 hours, I'll be sitting here with my daughter catching up. And in 36 hours, we will be sitting down with our family to remember all that we are thankful for.

I am thankful for so much. My life is so full. We are so Blessed.

Remembering my grandparents....for my children.

Tonight during our Bible study, some of the questions led us to discussions of memories we have of our grandparents. There were tears shed, as we remembered, and laughed, and cried. And then I realized that I don't talk about my grandparents to my kids. I'm not sure why, but I don't. They know very little of them, and I think that needs to change.

So here is a letter to my darling children, hopefully the first of many, where I will recount some wonderful memories....

On my father's side, I knew only my grandmother and step-grandfather. My grandfather died before I was born. I don't have many memories of them....as they lived about 3 hours away, and we did not see them often. The visits we did have were brief and formal, often over coffee and Finnish cinnamon toast at their home. I do remember the little coffee nook we would sit in as we visited... I can picture it like it was yesterday.

But my maternal grandparents lived in my home town, and we were extremely close. They were quite old (I was a late child for my mom and dad), and with us being the only family still in town, we spent a lot of time with them.

My mom and I went over to my grandparent's house almost every night either after school for dinner, or after dinner, to play cards. I know for my mom, it was a chance to make sure they were ok, and a chance to give my Grandma some company. Grandpa was a big silent German farmer by that time....

I remember playing cards so vividly. By the time I was 8 or 9, I was the fourth player, learning to play Shmear and Sheepshead simultaneously. Amazingly, we would switch between the two at will, depending on which we wanted to play. I'll never forget learning sheepshead. Grandpa was explaining the game to me, and told me that you have to have an ace to bid. So the next hand, I had 4 aces, so I bid 4. Anyone out there knowing sheepshead knows that an Ace alone does not a hand make.... I didn't make it that round, but Grandpa got a good laugh out of it!

I was very close to my maternal grandparents, spending MUCH of my summers with them when I was young, traveling with them to the land in the country to do the gardening. Grandma and I would make sandwiches (typically egg salad), and Grandpa would load the old car. I wonder what year/make that car was? I'd love to see one again. It was an early 60s model I believe.... The ride to the land was only about 10-15 minutes. It was near the old family farm. Aside from a small wooden shed, and the still functioning well/windmill, it was simply a land plot that we planted as their garden. I learned so much from them, helping create the rows with old wooden stakes and twine, hoeing the row, planting seeds.... and working the land. At lunch time we'd sit in the car with the windows open, using well water from the pump to make koolaid, and enjoying our egg salad sandwiches. Honestly, some of the best memories I have...

There are many, many more memories to be written. And they will be. Fun remembering. But enough for now.

A day off!

I have been MIA! Cannot believe it's been two weeks since my last post. Life has been a bit crazy, but I've really no excuse. I have a couple of blog ideas that are swimming in my crazy brain - but will want pix to go with them, so I will hold off until I can do them well.

It's really feeling like late fall here in Wisconsin. Snow in the north, but none here yet. Cold, rainy, and windy. A typical fall. I headed out this morning to clean up a bit in the gardens, pulling my herb stakes (clay - porous - they have to be pulled or they will crack in our winter), and harvesting the last of the herbs. I was able to snip some oregano, chives, parsley, and sage this morning, so I'll probably do something fun for dinner where I can use them fresh. One last time!

I haven't had a day "off" in awhile. I know what you are thinking - "she works part time!" But rarely do I give myself a true day "off". I always set my alarm, up before six, getting the family started for the day. I decided last night that today would be my day off. I slept in until just before my son headed off to school and my husband was home from work. I'm looking forward to a day of just catching up!

Hoping to get another dehydrator full of apples going, and then I'm off to town to do errands - banking, rental stuff, groceries, etc. I will grab some fun music for the road, and karaoke the entire way there. I'm very much looking forward to a low key day.

I did take time this morning to finish another cowl for my craft sale. The annual sale is less than a month away, which is why I've been MIA. I've been working really hard crocheting cowls, headbands, etc., as well as completing misc. upcycling projects. I've been busy, just not blogging.

I'll work on some of those other ideas. just not today. It's my day off!

My view tonight....and my inspiration!

My "normal" spot in the living room at night is on the couch. So when a dear friend surprised me with flowers this week, they went right next to where I sit, so I can enjoy them every night. Behind them is a picture board with pictures of my mom and dad... from a LONG time ago. Pictures I just love. It's a beautiful thing to sit by! Great inspiration as I sit and blog, or work on my pictures, or write.

I had to do some online training tonight, and as I sat on the couch with my laptop, I looked up to catch the most beautiful pink shining through the window. The sunset tonight was gorgeous. I had enough time to grab my camera and snap a few shots before it changed and clouds took over for the night.... so I think I'll share. enjoy!

Hopefully these can inspire you as well.

paths....

I have always believed that God puts us on the path we are intended for. And He puts people on our paths that we need, either at that time, or in the future, or for life. This past week - ten days - have been filled with some of those people. People that I call Blessings.

For one week, we were host to our "kids" from New Orleans. Talk about God's work! On August 29th, 2005, New Orleans was devastated by Hurricane Katrina and the subsequent floods. Brian, with then girlfriend, decides to relocate to Wisconsin temporarily with her family. While here in WI, he chose a job working for me. Brian was a great kid - and we were so thankful to have him on board. But like most, once the city was back and functioning, Brian returned to his hometown.

Fast forward several years. Thanks to Facebook, we reconnect. A conversation is made about us visiting for Mardi Gras, and a trip is planned. A second trip occurs when Brian marries the love of his life, Katherine (another NOLA native). Finally, after a few years, a trip to WI is planned, bringing them to see us this past week.

As many of my friends know, I call them my "kids" from NOLA. I love them like my own children. And they very much feel like family. That first night they were here - with Katherine, William, and I cooking in the kitchen, and Ken and Brian sharing motorcycle stories in the living room, it felt like they lived here. It was so natural to have them here, to be sharing a meal. And the week that followed, traveling all over Wisconsin, was SO much fun. It was very hard to send them home on Saturday. They are truly such a Blessing in our lives, people I am so thankful to have put in my path!

And only hours after we sent them on their way back to Louisiana, two of my dear friends from Omaha arrived for three days of girl time. Again - THE PATH! How did I find Dana College? A tiny Lutheran college in Blair, NE, found its way into my path back in 1988. Attending that college was absolutely one of the most important events in my life. Through it my family began, my life became filled with amazing friends who I am still close to today. Friends that I see many times a year, no matter how far the distance between us.

So as I sit here this morning, on a cool, rainy October day, I am enjoying my cup of chicory, reflecting on the last 10 days. Such Blessings. Our lives are so rich. I am so very thankful. This crossed my wall on facebook this morning, and it inspired this blog. Remember, through good and bad, everyone in our lives has a purpose. Everyone is God-sent. Today I am reflecting on all the good....

Prayer request

I have been MIA on here for awhile, but there has been so much going on. We've had some crazy ups and downs, and at this point, I just ask that you send up a little prayer. A prayer for understanding, for hope, for the future.

While we've been entertaining friends from out of state for over a week, and having a wonderful time, there have been a couple of bumps in the road, some pretty big ones, that have surfaced. So we simply need some time to pray, and make some life decisions.

So I ask for you to take a moment, if you are so moved, and send up a quick prayer - that we know the direction we are meant to go.

I know everything happens for a reason. Sometimes I just get patient waiting to find out what that reason might be.

25 years? REALLY?

So this weekend is my 25th high school class reunion. That's a big number. Hard to believe it's really been that long. It's our 3rd reunion, and due to some very special company coming from out of town, I will not be able to attend. And as social as I am, that is a sad thing for me. But last night we had a casual get together after the game, and I was able to see a large number of my former classmates, catching up on our lives.

It is so wonderful to be able to reconnect after 5 years, as if really nothing has changed. Social networking has changed "reunions" as they are, because honestly, it is to easy to stay in contact with everyone. But you can't beat being able to sit around, and laugh, and share. And we did a LOT of that last night.

This afternoon, a handful of my closer friends are coming over to enjoy some memories over appetizers and drinks. There will be photo albums, and year books, and a new baby to enjoy! I cannot tell you how much it means to me - to have them come over to visit - being I cannot be there tonight. It will be much more intimate, and I cannot wait to see them all. Among us  - someone I have not seen since we graduated, recently reconnected via facebook. Someone fighting (and winning) stage 4 cancer. New parents, with a beauty of an adopted daughter we all get to meet. And all good friends, who will gather to reconnect and catch up. Recipe for a wonderful afternoon.

As for recipes - I am making a roasted eggplant dip, the rye bread is done, and I'll roast some chickpeas to snack on. We'll open a couple of bottles of wine, and go through some coffee too I'm sure.

Another weekend full of Blessings. Friends are such Blessings.

Putting on a brave face.

Be forewarned. While the vast majority of my posts are very upbeat, this one is not. I try to remain positive in life, but sometimes we all have down nights. And this is my blog, where I have been documenting my journey over the last few years, and tonight, that journey isn't quite so easy. I continue on with my brave face, telling everyone how crazy happy I am - Blessed. (This is the truth - although the last few times I've said it, I've felt a little less than that.)

Over the last month, I've had two very disturbing nightmares. I won't go into details, as this isn't a blog about hidden messages in dreams. But I will say that in both, I woke feeling abandoned, lost, and extremely emotionally exhausted. And I think that they tie into the fact that I'm feeling a bit "in limbo" right now.

Nothing has changed. And maybe that's the issue. I'm still teaching part time, which I love, spending the rest of my days between taking care of my family and at church. Still very Blessed to be able to do this. But I am feeling lately that I'm not contributing. To what? I'm not sure. Maybe to anything. I have a nagging feeling that there is more out there for me, but when I start to dream, and get excited about it, I'm always talked down out of it.

I feel like I have crazy potential. So many ideas, but I just end up staying right where I am. And understand that I am so very happy... most of the time. It's just that right now, I feel like I'm taking the easy way out. That I'm not living up to my potential. That I'm being lazy in doing what I do.

Maybe it's the comment from a family member asking if I'm teaching at all this week - and if not - the "tsk tsk". Maybe it's the fact that bills are still tight after my husband's trip. Maybe it's my 25th class reunion. Or visitors from out of state. Maybe it's a bit of all of the above. But I feel like I'm not contributing - to society - to the family - at all.

and I'm frustrated

I'm frustrated that I have great ideas, but don't seem to have the means, or ability to make any of them come to fruition. Is it me?

The advice I received tonight was "pray on it". And I have been. For almost two years. And I know that God will answer when it is time. And that He will give me the answer I need. But right now, I feel such crazy emotion.... angst almost. And I need to know what direction to go  in.

So I again find myself in prayer. Prayer for direction and guidance. Prayer for the strength to wait until it's time.

Spoiling the masses....

It's not surprising that I love to cook. It is not a secret. And I love cooking for others. It's my gift to share with people.

Today I got to share a LOT. For months, I've known that I was cooking the main component of the meal to feed our football team for their weekly Thursday team meal. My son had requested lasagna. So I was prepared to make that, and garlic bread, for the 50 boys and men.

Yesterday my husband was talking with his cousin who was headed to town from Arkansas. After he got off the phone, he asked if we could do a lunch for him and his mother. Of course - no problem! By the time lunch came today, we had my mother-in-, father-in-law, husband's aunt and uncle, as well as the cousin. So I was making lunch for 7.

Up at 5:45, I finished baking the last four baguettes for the football team right away. Then I jumped into prep for lunch. I roasted a chicken, along with mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn, apple pie, and peach cobbler. Had just enough time to clean up the kitchen before they arrived. And lunch was wonderful.

As soon as they were gone, around 1:30, I headed back into the kitchen to prep three large pans of lasagna and turn the 8 baguettes into garlic bread. At 5:30 pm I was on my way home with empty roasters and pans.

12 hours of cooking and cleaning and serving, makes for a long, but really wonderful day. I love being able to cook for others, if that makes them happy. Love being able to share. But I'll be happy to put my feet up for the rest of the night!

Wonderful youth testimonies in Church! A God moment to start the week!~

Church this morning was such a treat. I look forward to it every week - to recharge my soul, reconnect with my church family - but today was SUCH a treat.

After church, I wandered into the fellowship hall to find 6 of our youth waiting with coffee, treats, and a presentation. They each took time to share in front of the rest of the church members there stories from their time at Camp Luther last summer.

They each told us how long they were there, what they liked, what they learned, etc.

Things they liked the most:

• Making new Christian friends
• Playing games
• Devotions

Things they learned:

• That it's ok to pray all the time, not just in church
• That God loves us no matter what

They told us about learning more about the Bible, about camping in the tents, about things they had to do.

Not only was it wonderful to hear these testimonials about their experiences at camp. But it was wonderful to see young children standing up in front of a mixed audience - some peers, some other children, parents, and other adults - doing it. They did a fantastic job speaking. And that is not an easy thing for anyone, let alone young children (ranging from 3rd grade to 8th grade). And then, to speak on your Faith.... Oh, it was so heart warming to watch. What a wonderful group of children. What an amazing way to start the day.

Our crazy life...still full of Blessings!

We are coming to the end of this crazy week. I taught 3 days, catered 2. The hubby has been having 14 hour days since Tuesday, overnights, coming home only to sleep, shower, eat, and return to work. On top of that add two football games (one 2 hours away), one confirmation class, one Bible study, and one football meal. Yep, it's been that crazy. Today is my last full catering day, my son is off to hang out with friends, then off to a party, and my husband has another long night.

I've been very good about keeping up with the cooking all week, preparing enough for all to have three square meals (including one packed for the hubby). But this morning I opened the fridge and realized we had gone through EVERYTHING. Not a single thing of leftover food in there. And I have to be at the store by 10 for the day's catering.

So I dug out onion, pepper, garlic, and hamburger, and started to whip up a pot of Italian noodles - with white wine, tomatoes... (yes, the house smells amazing). My son got up (shocked to see him this early after the late game last night) and stood in the kitchen chatting, and cooking with me. We talked about the game, about the party today, about the upcoming homecoming... it was absolutely awesome. Just good old-fashioned mom/son time, over the cooking in the kitchen. A true gift, one to ground me today during a crazy, hectic time in life.

So even though he's now off to a friend's house, and my husband is sleeping, leaving just me to sit and ponder over my last cup of coffee before the day, that morning time with stay with me all day, making me so very thankful for the Blessings in my life.

a challenging schedule ahead!

My hubby is heading into 4 back to back 14 hour days at work. Overnights. So I need to have breakfast prepared when he gets home in the morning, something to eat for dinner around 5 before he heads back in, and something for him to take with him for his "lunch" at work. In addition, I am teaching, so I need lunches to take. And this week I provide bread for the football dinner, and next week the main course (lasagna) AND the bread. To say the least, I realized tonight I needed to do some planning to make sure the fridge was full and I have a plan in place!

My first go-to was my freezer, where I had pulled pork, minestrone, and Salisbury meatballs I could pull to use. Then, I started to play around on Pinterest, specifically on my "food to try" board, but was just not inspired by anything. I'm in a mood of trying to use what I have in my pantry, and most of those recipes have all kinds of crazy ingredients...

So I turned to my next source. I posted to all my facebook peeps - for their favs - for the simple ones - with simple ingredients. And my friends came through! I have written menus for the next two weeks, as well as a grocery list, and planned out each day what needs to be done when. I'm confident that I will not only provide for my family, but have fun trying some new recipes, along with some favorites, all on my budget.

To toast being prepared for the crazy weeks ahead, I made a decaf, non-fat, salted caramel mocha latte. (YUMMO). Cheers to an organizing night!

a day in the life....

of a stay-at-home mom

While I am not a full-time SAHM, I only work part time - and today was one of my days home. So I embraced the day!

Woke up early (I choose NOT to allow myself to sleep in. I keep a schedule, getting up around 5:45 am every morning.) to a very cool fall morning - with temperatures in the upper 40s. I opened all the blinds and opened the windows to let the fresh, crisp air in. Oh, to fill your lungs with that beautiful cool fresh air... it's so good.

Made a pot of coffee and sat down to enjoy the morning news. Started a new crocheting project while I had my coffee and checked in with the world. I always cherish my quiet mornings, before my son and/or husband get up to start the day. Today was no different.

The morning was spent catching up from the weekend! By noon I had made breakfast oat bars for the week as well as a loaf of wheat bread. Two loads of laundry are hanging in the cool air outside. The dishes were unloaded, those from my baking washed, and the kitchen picked up.

I also took a walk of the gardens this morning, harvesting some tomatoes, zucchini, and summer squash. I will have to work them into the week's menus!

It is so nice to have a morning to catch up. Hoping to finish up laundry this afternoon and maybe get the floors all done. Before the football game tonight. NOTHING gets in the way of watching my boy play ball.

When it's ok to play with your food!

I played with my food today.
but I think it's ok.
because I was playing with veggies - and different ways to serve them to my family!

I've amassed quite a bit of produce this week, as well as a bowl of bluegill fillets from my son's fishing trip yesterday, and some thawed pork chops my dear husband pulled out yesterday (thinking he was helping.)

So today's mission was to design meals that used up as much as possible.

And I chose to accept, and embrace the challenge with gusto!

Lunch - I knew I wanted to fry up the bluegill. Protein - done. I had one small eggplant, and several small zucchini on the counter, so I sliced them up, and made a veggie parmesan with them to accompany the fish. A gift of a bag of pears was waiting to become a pear crisp for dessert. FOUR items on my list used!

On to dinner. The port went in the crock pot early in the day (it IS Packer Sunday!), so that was taken care of. On to veggies. I had a cabbage in the fridge, grabbed a few potatoes - and wedged both, tossed with olive oil and seasonings, and roasted them. A super simple dinner in the books!

So the family got four different veggies today - five if you count the tomatoes in the sauce - and a wonderful day of homemade food. And not a single recipe used, just my instinct, which is a victory for me.

Living our lives on autopilot....

Something from Sunday's sermon is still on my mind this morning (great job Pastor Schneider!)... He talked about living life, and not living life on autopilot. Not becoming desensitized to our surroundings....

How often do we do that? Keep pushing forward on autopilot, day to day, all of a sudden realizing that weeks, months, even years have gone by? I have applauded myself over these last two years of my "second chapter" of life for NOT doing this. For taking time to enjoy life, the God moments, etc.. But Sunday as I sat and listened to Pastor, I realized that I too am STILL guilty of this.

Summer lasts for most of three months. And it flew by in a flash. I didn't do any of the "relaxing" I had planned on. And I'm so frustrated with myself. I ended up over committing (the peril of people knowing you have the summer "off" from teaching) for MONTHS. This first week of school has been the first time I've been able to really sit back and breathe.

how sad...

While we had a wonderful summer - visiting friends - having company here, etc., I am very frustrated that I've lived the 3 months on autopilot, not stopping each day to give thanks, to realize all that we are Blessed with, to hear the silence that is so important to hear.

Lucky for me, it was only a summer. And Pastor's message has hit me in the core. I need to remember to thank him for that next week, let him know how much it meant to me.

So here's to getting back on track - to learning to say no - to taking time to hear God's plan for us. I'm taking back the controls - no more autopilot for this chick!

Managing our family meals.....the joy of a stocked freezer!

I know that I only work part time now. But for almost 20 years, I was a busy working mom. So I've been there. And some of the tricks I did back then, to ensure my family had good meals at a reasonable cost, are still what keep me going today.

I know you've heard me talk about my "freezer cooking" before. It is one of my weapons, to be sure. Once a month, I prepare meals for the freezer - some that are fully cooked, just to be thawed and heated, some that need to be baked, and yet others that are prepped for a crock pot. I don't use them every day. Now that I'm working part time, I don't have to. I can spend time cooking. But when they are needed, they make my life SO much easier.

Today - we had a garage sale. My mother-in-law was over to help, and I found myself out of time to prepare anything for lunch. I headed to the freezer, found frozen chicken tenders and twice baked potatoes - both fully cooked, just needing to be heated. In ten minutes, I had a wonderful lunch for us - one that I think even earned me some brownie points!

But that isn't the only way I utilize my freezer. Sometimes when I cook for my family, I make double, and freeze the second - chicken enchiladas, lasagna, soups, etc. You name it - if it can freeze - I do it. Why not make ONE mess, and two meals? I make the second, wrap it up, and pop it in the freezer. Voila - a frozen meal ready for me!

One of my favorite things to freeze is soup. At times I will freeze in containers ready for our lunches - they go into the lunch bags frozen, thaw during the morning, and then just need to be reheated at lunch time. Tonight when I got in from the sale, I was famished... I remembered the minestrone I froze the last time I made it, pulled it up and warmed it for dinner. Just like that I had from scratch good-for-me minestrone, full of veggies from my garden - made a couple of weeks ago.

Doubling a recipe does not have to be a time-consuming beast. I only do it when I have time to do so - typically on the weekends - and these little meals make my life so much more manageable. It is WONDERFUL to be able to react - to have a "go-to" meal for me, or my family, when time is tight.

These two tools have helped me tremendously. They help when I'm too busy to cook, when our family schedules are off and people are eating at different times, and for our lunches. And it's just about getting into the habit! Start small. Next time you make lasagna, make two. You'll be happy you did the next time dinner is needed!

A mom's first day of school -

The first day of school means so much. Pictures flooded facebook these last few days with pictures of all the kids ready for that first day, the new adventures, seeing their friends again after a long summer...

I wonder what a mom's first day of school picture would look like? Why didn't I post mine? What would they look like? Pink fuzzy slippers and robes? Hair in curlers?

In my case, it includes a pot of coffee. A full pot of hot, strong coffee. In my favorite mug. Lounging in my favorite sweats. Morning news was on - NO SPORT CENTER! And the house was quiet. Just me, my coffee, my laptop, and the news. And it was bliss.

As the morning wore on, I received a phone call from a friend - also enjoying the quiet - and we chatted for a half hour about the new school year, etc. Later in the morning, another SAHM stopped by to chat. And in the late morning, yet another phone chat with another SAHM who for the first year, has no one at home (after 12 years of home schooling!) It was wonderful to talk with the other moms, about our plans - of deep cleaning, purging, and getting our homes back in order after the kids havoc of summer.

My son made it home around 6 from school and football, having had a great day. Immediately, the dynamic of the house changed, with his chatter of classes, friends, assemblies, and new teachers. And it was a welcome change.

While I love the quiet of the days - I love even more the return of his energy to the house when he comes home to tell me of his day.

Ending the weekend on the wild side....

I know that most of my posts are pretty tame, very domestic, and kind of sappy at times. (That's kind of who I am...)

So I thought I better let you in on how I ended our long weekend. Not in your typical "domestic missy" way... but on my motorcycle!

For any of you who are new, or only seldom readers, it's not often I blog about riding my motorcycle, simply for the fact that I don't take enough time to ride it! I love riding, but seem to very rarely get the chance! So when we got the call to go riding with friends on Labor day, we jumped at the chance.

We met up with another couple, and another lady at 11, on an overcast cool day - and headed north to meet up with the missing husband, who had been working at their cabin all weekend. While cool and overcast, honestly, it's perfect weather to me. I don't mind the chill of riding... not at all.

I love riding my motorcycle. Which, for those of you who know me, is somewhat of a surprise. I did not grow up in a family with toys. No motorcycles, four-wheelers, boats, etc. But I married a man who is toy crazy - with all of the above. For many years, I was happy riding on the back of his Harley, but several years ago decided to get my own license and my own bike. And I've never looked back.

I love the feel of the wind, the smells as we pass the different fields.... it's an amazing feeling. Add to that a day with good friends - and it makes for a great day! A great way to end the long weekend!

Enjoying the spoils of summer.

The summer harvest is in full swing, and we have been BUSY!

I was able to make 7 jars of plum jelly, a first for me, thanks to the generosity of a dear friend with a LOADED plum tree. I brought the sugar and pectin, and together we made 13 jars of jelly. Jelly that is the most beautiful hue of pink, and tastes so yummy.

This morning we headed to town for hair cuts, and I had the boys drop me off at the big farmer's market. It was so nice to walk and browse the entire thing... knowing what I either didn't grow, or wasn't having luck with this year. I found some beautiful green peppers, cucumbers, kale, and a new variety of apple - zestra. Looking forward to trying that one. Quite the charismatic salesman selling them... told me I'd be sorry I only bought a small bag. :)

When we got home, I headed out to play in the gardens a bit, enjoying the cooler temperature today and the disappearing humidity. I weeded the herb garden, watered the flowers, and then headed out for the daily harvest. I found a beautiful eggplant, some zucchinis, and a tomato to bring in and enjoy. Walking back to the house, I passed the raspberries and the grapes - which are LOADED this year - and will soon be ready for a juice day. I just love seeing everything producing, getting ready to harvest. There is great satisfaction in nurturing the gardens....

Tonight I tried kale chips for the first time. And they're not too bad. A good way to introduce a different vegetable into our diets. The boys didn't like them too much though, so I have a bit of kale to eat!

Dinner was eggplant parmesan. And oh, it was wonderful. Nothing like vegetables fresh picked and turned into dinner within hours. And thinking of the grapes, I opened one of the last quarts of juice from 2012 to enjoy with dinner. Sitting there enjoying my dinner, I was so proud - of the vegetables and fruits I'd grown and/or canned for my family. It's so satisfying knowing that I am providing for us.

Coming back to "the office" after a day off

As you know, I spent almost 20 years in the corporate world, and the last two as a part-time teacher and stay at home mother and wife (a domestic!). I had a great realization this week about the similarities of the two... including the concept of "vacation".

This week, I was able to take a day "off". In the world of stay-at-home mothers, that means a day away from the house - doing "me" things. In order to understand, let's take a look at what gets done in a normal day at home -

• laundry washed and hung out, then folded and put away - anywhere from 1-2 loads
• three meals cooked, from scratch
• the dishes from cooking and eating those meals washed and put away
• house picked up
• detailed cleaning (in whatever room I'm working on that day) - de-cluttering, dusting, etc.
• kitchen swept
• flowers watered - and garden, if needed

And of course - there is the morning coffee, and GMA - cannot start the morning without that!

So on a day "off" - the above mentioned list? NOT DONE!

Tuesday - I got up at 4:30am to get the corn frozen before I left, made a salad for church, watered the flowers and garden, put lunch for the boys in the crock pot, and was headed out to craft day by 8am. Back at 3, I was changed and out the door by 4 to head to a going away party and to do the grocery shopping. By the time I got home at 8, the dishes from the day were piled up and begging for me, and the house was a mess. So I spent a couple of hours doing the bare minimum - dishes, picking up the living spaces, etc.

As I was doing the dishes that night, I literally laughed out loud. I had a flashback to my corporate life. Every time I would take a vacation day - there was overtime prepping before leaving (just like getting up early before going Tuesday), and coming back took hours to dig out of all that didn't get done.

So while I may be a SAHM now, I have realized that some things have not changed... and that makes me smile. I may have changed my "office", and the "staff" I manage is drastically different, but my life isn't so different after all.

shattering dreams...and rebuilding

Sometimes life doesn't go the way we want. And even though we may have great dreams and ideas, they are just that. Dreams are those plans and ideas that keep us going, giving us something to strive for. Dreams color our thoughts, drive us, and very much affect how we live.

Once in awhile, our dreams are shattered. Something happens that takes away that possibility. That is life.

But it's our job to rebuild those dreams. Even if they can't be the original dream. Then we have to create new dreams.

Because without dreams, life has little direction. And little color.

So here's to rebuilding those dreams, and dreaming new ones. Bringing life back to color and direction.

My mom's AMAZING freezer corn

I have a lot of recipes from my mom.

Tonight I am freezing corn. Sweet corn, corn on the cob, turned into the most amazing frozen corn.

And it's the truth.

I know - because my FATHER-IN-LAW said so. He once told me it couldn't be frozen corn, it had to be fresh, because it was too good to be freezer corn. Told ya. It's THAT good.

I don't worry about sharing recipes - I love doing that. It's how great things continue on! So here it is - THE recipe - enjoy!

12 cups of corn (cut off the cob)
1 cup of water
2 Tbsp of sugar
1 tsp of salt
1/2 cup of butter

Combine the corn, water, sugar, and salt in a large sauce pan. Bring to a boil, and boil 8 minutes, stirring to ensure equal heating. Remove from heat and cool slightly. Add the butter, stirring to melt. Cool completely. Place in freezer containers or bags and freeze!

The beauty of this corn, is there is no need to add anything when you are enjoying it down the road. The sugar, salt, and butter make it melt-in-your-mouth delicious!

Being pampered like a queen, and pumpkin lattes - my day with filled with Blessings!

Last night my oldest came home for a long weekend. It's been over 2 months since I've seen her, and I am so glad to have her around the house, chatting, cleaning with me, cooking/baking with me... Oh, how I miss her energy.

This morning, I woke up knowing my entire family was under the roof, and what a wonderful feeling that was! After the kids got up, my daughter came with me to the store, to put together a catering order. Working together was a hoot - and she fit in so well with everyone. The 2 hours flew by!

When we got home, we baked! Zucchini brownies, and cinnamon bread... And we cleaned the house, did some laundry, all the while hanging out and chatting. Even took time to watch a chick flick!

I had to work again - for a couple of hours - and got home to the two kids washing dishes and making a new recipe - for a caramel apple pie tart - for dinner! I got to sit down to watch the news while they made dinner! It was a fabulous chance to relax, and what a treat - one I'm not often afforded!

Tonight, my daughter and I have been relaxing - hanging out - watching Big Bang Theory reruns, and trying out pumpkin latte recipes - in search of the perfect one! Our first one isn't too bad! And made with decaf, fat free milk, pumpkin, and honey, it's really not too bad for us either! We have one more recipe to try yet tonight. Then we'll make our decision.

So it's been a pretty amazing day from beginning to end. Even though it was just a "normal" day, it turned out pretty darn special. Another one of those when I realize just how Blessed I am.

A Fantasy Football Virgin!

I have a family of sports fanatics. We love watching (and playing) sports. Now understand, I play the violin. I act on stage. I sing. And now I watch football, basketball, and baseball - from school to college to pro. And I love it. Sports Center is on in our house many hours a day. It's a life I've morphed into. And it's something we all enjoy together. My daughter is even going into sports journalism and public relations. Yep. We have it that bad.

So it is a little surprising that I've never entered a fantasy football league before now. I've never been invited, so I never joined.

But the kids thought it would be fun to create our own family league.

Here we go.

Tonight was the draft, and what a hoot. Three of us here, and our daughter on speaker phone. The three of us with only two computers - so logging on and off, oye. Only caused a couple of glitches with auto picks happening when we couldn't log in fast enough. But what a hoot. The groans as one of us picked what someone else wanted.

All in good fun. I am really looking forward to this. As dorky as that sounds. Bring it on people. Bring it on.

Mama's playing football!

Just visiting

Wow, if there are two words to describe my summer, it's "just visiting".

Those of you who have followed me for awhile may remember a past post about the lost art of visiting. How we've lost the face-to-face contact in today's too-busy world.

The older I get, the more important it is to me to actually take time to see the people that mean the most to me. And this summer, I've had MANY chances to do just that.

Earlier this summer, I had a chance to visit with high school friends, and then college friends, and then some extended family, and then our former Pastor and his wife. July was a whirlwind month of weekend travels...

This weekend, I was both on the receiving end of visitors, as well as the giving end!

Every year, a dear friend and her mom come to visit for a long weekend, during which we do a little exploring. It's always a ridiculously fun weekend, including lots of coffee and laughter. This year was no different. It's just so nice to slow down our lives enough to "hang out".

to visit

While they were here, we headed north, to visit a store owned by a friend from high school. A friend who I have not seen in 26 years. It was wonderful to walk in the door and see her smiling face, virtually unchanged after all of these years, and see that recognition. We had a wonderful time catching up - the "fast forward" version of our lives, embracing how life got us to the amazing places we are now, even if not the path we had planned originally.

I love the feeling after leaving a visit like that. The feeling that even after 26 years, it's so easy to catch up. And I very much look forward to seeing her again, on a planned visit - lunch, etc.

So as summer comes near its end, I have two more sets of visitors coming, and one more trip of my own. I might say it's been one of the best summers in a long time. I'm glad to have reconnected, to enjoyed family and friends.

Take some advice from a wise old woman. Find the time. Slow down life. Go visiting.

Company's Coming! Company's Coming!

Every summer, a dear, dear friend from college and her mother road trip from Nebraska to Wisconsin for a mini vacation. We always have a BLAST. Each year, I try to come up with some different things to take them to, and we relax with coffee on the deck in the morning, and beer or wine on the couch late into the night, chatting and catching up on our lives. It is one of my most favorite times of the year, something I look forward to EVERY year.

and they'll be here in less than two hours!

so I'm a bit excited.

just a bit.

I've spent the day baking breads - wheat and rye, prepping dinner - chicken enchiladas, black beans, rice, and dessert, and getting the house company ready.

The house smells amazing (who doesn't like the smell of baking bread?), and I'm just waiting... Wine is chilling for dinner. The table is set.

It's going to be a wonderful, wonderful few days, and it starts SO soon.

Cheers to time spent with amazing friends!

Farmer's Market Friday - eating well and buying local!

There is nothing more wonderful in the summer than taking a walk to the farmer's market, finding the yummy treasures for the week, and then heading home to start cooking and planning menus! I love the aspect of the farmer's market. The true farmer's market. Our town, only 800 people, has a farmer's market every Friday - and it's just a few of the local gardeners and farmers sharing their harvest. Pricing is VERY reasonable, and it's so good for all involved - for me, who can't grow everything (YET!), for the vendors - with a chance to sell their produce, and the environment - grown locally, transported minimally, never processed or packaged. You cannot lose.

This morning I was a little late - so I missed out on tomatoes (I learned my lesson - no waiting next week!), but was able to score a cucumber, beets, sweet corn, broccoli, and patty pan squash (a first for me!) Just enough for the three of us - to have some yummy fresh produce for the next couple of days! (And all of this cost me $4.30!)

 

I love cooking (you all know that) - so having such a great variety to work with will be wonderful. Yesterday I had a zucchini and summer squash from a friend - made an amazing stir fry with onion, garlic, red pepper, summer squash, zucchini, broccoli, and carrots. Today - I took one of the patty pan squash, some of the broccoli, and sauteed it with onion and garlic, added some cooked quinoa, and had a vegetarian lunch that was amazing.

 

Everyone knows that we are supposed to get a variety of colors of veggies every day. So here's my challenge to you. Check out a local farmer's market. Pick up something new. Google it, and enjoy. It helps you, the environment, and the farmers. How can we not!

 

Here's to summer! 

Catching my Breath!

I know it's been a week since my last post! We've been busy, but what is new?

Spent a night last weekend with my crazy family - a blog post in itself - hanging out with my oldest sister and her two daughters, who are my age, at their cabin. Too many laughs and fun.... such fun. I have a crazy, amazing family, and it's a blast hanging out!

Sunday I went craft shopping with a friend - paper, fabric, oh so many wonderful things! We hit great sales, and I came home with the supplies to make my husband's Continental Divide scrapbook, a dresser scarf and two pillows for my bedroom, and lots of other goodies!

So this week has been a chance to catch my breath. Back to normal. Cleaning the house, baking, cooking, and just being normal. Zumba started up for the final session of the summer. Been working a few hours at the store. Just normal. Such a good thing.

Today I made two loaves of French bread, and buffalo chicken pizza for lunch. Two loads of laundry on the line. Kitchen cleaned, living room picked up, and bedding changed.  Zumba. Such good things. Even took time to read my book and a little nap today.

I love our life, But sometimes it is just too busy. Weeks like this are so refreshing! It's important to slow down and catch your breath once in a while!

What a crazy crazy day!

What a crazy, crazy day! As the second batch of Grandma's banana bread goes in the oven, at the crack of 11:00 pm, I realized how quickly this day took a turn!

I started the morning enjoying the BEAUTIFUL weather (below normal for this time of year, we've been Blessed with temperatures in the low 70s!) out in my "mom" garden. I was loving the relaxed morning, when I realized that I had to make several baguettes for the student trip tomorrow.

Late morning, I started making bread - 4 batches to be exact. My baguette recipe is a quick one, but making 8 loaves is still time consuming, and much of it hands-on. So while I was baking, I tried to stay ahead of making lunch for the guys, and cleaning the house.

Before I knew it, it was after 2, and time to get ready to head to town for appointments. After the dentist, the bank, the drugstore, and the grocery store, it was 5:30pm before we hit the driveway back home! Not enough time to make and eat dinner before our meeting at school, it was cheddar hot dogs for the boys to hold them over until a very late dinner.

Do you see how this is snowballing?????

I was able to prep dinner before the sports meeting at school. I had intended on lasagna (at the request of my dear husband), only to find I had no lasagna noodles. So baked penne lasagna it was! At 6:45 pm, dinner was prepped, a second one in the freezer, and we headed out the door.

We returned from school at 8:15pm. I turned the oven on as I walked in the door, dropped my purse, and got dinner in the oven.

Who eats at 9:30 at night????

I decided I had better get all the dishes from the bread baking and dinner prep done during my hour of cooking time. During that hour, I asked my son to pack for his school trip tomorrow, only to realize his swim trunks just went in the dryer. So no final packing tonight. I could finish the laundry while finishing up the kitchen.

It was at this point, at 9:00pm, that my darling son approached me.

"Soooo. Were you still going to be able to make some treats for the trip tomorrow?"

Bless his heart. I had forgotten that I promised him we'd make granola bars.

"Banana bread ok? I have a lot of bananas."

With his approval, I started making banana bread. But only after the Penne was out of the oven, and my husband's lunch was packed.

At an hour per batch, I had only planned on making the one loaf for him to take, but the smell was so good... And while he is on his school trip, I am staying with my niece. And it's Grandma's recipe. I have to make a loaf to take to her house.

Which is how we get to now. 11:15 pm, and the second batch is baking. One half of my mom garden weeded, 8 baguettes baked, 2 pans of Penne made (one frozen for future), 2 loaves of banana bread, and last minute laundry. One heck of a day.

It all started so innocently. Weeding the garden. So relaxed....

mmm. Just another day in paradise. ;)

Beautiful days abound

Don't want to bore you all with my "oh life is a Blessing", "it's the little joys", happy mumbo jumbo. But you all know my philosophy by now. Life is too short for regrets. Be thankful. Each day is a Blessing. Surround yourself with positive people you love. DREAM.

This week has been a "normal" one so far. Monday - catching up with laundry on the line, freezing the last of the peaches, gardening, yard projects, etc. Tuesday- an amazing day with my crafting ladies at church. And in the end, a chance to spend quality one-on-one time with a dear friend. And this morning, some good gardening time after picking up the house.

It was in that one-on-one time Tuesday with my dear friend, that I was able to really talk about Ken's trip - and what it meant to me. Why it was hard for me. I have the most amazing love with my dear husband. We are truly partners in life. It was so hard to not be able to share every day with him while he was gone. Sharing the day's events. The little touches and tweeks as we pass in the house. Physically being able to look at him, talk with him, and touch him. I am so Blessed to have found him, to have every day with him. Three weeks without him really showed me how strong that bond is. And Tuesday I was able to put words to those feelings.

Today is shaping up to be another great normal day. Up early, house picked up, healthy breakfast for all, garbage and recycling out, and now it's time to head out to the gardens for awhile, to get some weeding in during the cool of the morning. Looking forward to working with the boy this afternoon - and then some time in the bedroom starting the decorating touches. Just a great, normal, beautiful day.

Every day is a Blessing from God, sometimes in disguise, but always there. God Bless!

Global Warming? mmm

Well, it is July 28th, and last night temperatures reached under 50 degrees. Highs these last two days have been in the low 60s. We have donned sweatshirts and jeans. When it is normally in the 90s. So we are kind of in shock, to say the least.

So tonight - the house is cold, feeling almost like fall. I made a big pot of potato soup, and fresh biscuits, for dinner. That, and a cup of cocoa, and I feel all warm and snuggly under a blanket on the couch. We've nestled in for a night of tv, after a long weekend of traveling and visiting.

We'll take the cool break. Just hoping that summer comes back. This isn't the best weather for growing a garden!

Confessions of a woman redefined

In the last few weeks I have had a lot of time to think. I took several road trips - some solo. And those road trips took me to visits with people from various aspects of my life. My best friends from high school. A crazy group of some of my closest college buddies. My sister and nieces.

These last few years have brought so much change in my life. So when I get together with people, and we start to discuss our lives, what is going on, where we are at, I start to wonder what they think of where I'm at now. I see my life change from such a different viewpoint.

The pinnacle of these introspective visits came when talking with a dear friend from college, who is also at a crossroads. We discussed the fact that neither of us would have guessed that in our mid-forties, we'd be uncertain about the direction our lives were taking. We both have so many options. And we are both unsure of the direction we are supposed to go.

It's difficult being at a cross-roads. Especially for so long. When I left my job almost 2 years ago, abandoning the stress of type-A management life, I had no idea where I was headed. I did NOT think I would be headed into part-time work, staying home, and being a domestic. Because being a domestic - a stay-at-home mother and wife - had been my dream. The dream that was out of reach. The dream I'd stopped dreaming.

I cannot explain the joy I have in my current life. I cannot explain how it feels to garden, can, and provide for my family. To cook real food for them. To keep a beautiful yard, and a comfortable home. To have settled into our little town, walking to and from work as a part-time substitute teacher. Walking to the library, to the store.

In all of my life in management, I had told many people my only regret was not staying home with the kids. Of course they are now almost both grown, my youngest being 16. But I have realized that it's NOT too late. That the dream didn't have to die. That I can be that at home mom and wife NOW.
I do not take for granted the fact that I am able to do this now, in my 40s. After almost 20 years in industry, working long days. I am so Blessed to be able to do this. And I have to admit, I am not sorry. I do not regret where my life is at all.

There are some people who look down on me for not working full time. For leaving a "good" job in a tough economy. There are some who say I am taking things away from my family because of my lower income. That I am throwing away my education. I beg to differ. I have never been happier. I do more for my family now than I ever have. I am a better woman, wife, and mother. I play games with my kids; we have an active lifestyle.

It took me a long time to realize what makes me happy. And to realize that I deserve to be happy. And to be confident enough to DO what it takes to make me happy. I am so thankful to have gotten to this place. Of true balance. And happiness. I am so Blessed.

Getting life back to normal...

What a whirlwind these last 3 weeks have been. What began with hosting our annual 4th of July bash, has included:

• for Ken - 3 weeks of on and off-road motorcycle travel down the continental divide - over 6000 miles! An amazing trip, they are home safe and sound!
• for William - a trip to Lifest (his first) as well as a quick trip to visit family in Eau Claire.
• for me - well, in addition to running the house hold while Ken was gone, I painted and redecorated the bedroom, traveled for a weekend visit with friends in Minneapolis, traveled for two days to visit college friends in Red Wing, and visited my family in Eau Claire.

It was a CRAZY three weeks.

Last night, when the guys made it home, it started to feel like normal again. We had the other family over too - so we were all here to welcome them back! We enjoyed hearing just a few of the stories... knowing there are many, many more to come.

Today was a WONDERFUL, back-to-normal day. Got up early, made the guys breakfast, and then ran to the store to work for a couple of hours. The guys picked me up at lunch, and we went to the lake to have a picnic - in the absolutely PERFECT weather we are currently having, sitting and relaxing.  Ken started unpacking, and washing the bike. I did some weeding and watering. And now, dinner is baking. Meatloaf, garlic smashed potatoes, steamed veggies, and peach kuchen. A good, old-fashioned dinner for my traveling man. Something he hasn't had in awhile.

So while dinner is baking, we are sitting in the living room, I on my laptop, he watching NASCAR. It is SO good to be back to normal. I have always loved my life, but nothing like 3 weeks out of norm to make me realize just how much. I am so Blessed.

And the vacation goes on! or.... OUT DAMN SPOT(S)!

Last night was the second time that Ken was unable to check in due to no service. Talk about LONG evenings. But he checked in this afternoon, and they are in Del Norte, CO, and still LOVING the trip. As much as I miss him, I am SO happy he has had this opportunity. It is truly a trip of a lifetime, something that he will talk about for the rest of his life. What an amazing gift!

On the home front - the painting of the bedroom is truly underway, the last coat of primer drying as we speak. The painting is a story in itself. But then, isn't most of my life?

I had most of the bedroom emptied a week ago. And then, the looming job of actually PAINTING was just too much. I found every excuse in the world. I had gardening to do. I had shopping to do. I had to clean the house. A friend needed me. All of this time, however, I was prepping. Bought the spackle. Bought the paint. Started taping.... all of this over a WEEK ago!

I had planned on painting the primer last night, but then got a call from a friend in need (SO thankful for that call!), so I headed out. By the time I got home, it was almost 10, and I wasn't about to start then. (Of course not!)

I decided last night, since all of the clocks were unplugged, to let myself sleep in today. The first day in MONTHS I've not set an alarm. And I slept until after 8 am! It was amazing. Totally refreshed, I really had no excuse to start painting.

We have a relatively small house. And only a single window air conditioning unit - in the living room -is used to cool the house. The bedroom, of course, is the furthest room away. Today we have a heat advisory - expected temps to reach upper nineties, with a heat index of over 100. Of course. So no opening the windows. All of this equates to one HOT room. I was literally sweating EVERYWHERE after getting the primer coat(s) done.

Yes, you read that right. COATS. As in multiple.

Let's go back to 1996. Only in our first home for 6 months, I decided the first room to decorate would be our bedroom. We were newly married, and of course had registered for (and received) our entire bedroom set - in burgundy magnolias with dark green accents.

DO NOT JUDGE ME.

It was 1996. I was in style. I swear.

So to match the BEAUTIFUL bedroom set, I thought burgundy sponge painting the bottom half of the wall would be amazing. And it was, in 1996.

Fast forward 17 years, and I hate that paint. Which is why when Ken decided to take a 3 week road trip, I decided that I had the perfect time to redo the bedroom. (Let's admit it - it was more than overdue after 17 years.)

Guess what? Burgundy is dark. REALLY dark. So of course, I couldn't get away with one coat of primer, I had to use two.

But I am victorious! The burgundy sponge painting is GONE. I have a clean slate for my new bedroom colors. And I cannot wait to get started. Four hours, and I'm in there adding chocolate and blue to make that burgundy sponge painting a distant memory.

Update from the road - a phone call!

Tonight as we were rushing out the door to meet my husband's family for dinner, he called. What a WONDERFUL surprise. We chatted forever, and it was just what I needed. To hear the stories, the excitement in his voice.

It sounds like they are having the trip of a lifetime. I can't count how many times he said that we have to go back. To show me. They are in Colorado right now, stayed last night in Steamboat Springs, waking up to the sunrise over the river.. absolutely beautiful.

 

Today's ride was very much off-road, up and down steep inclines, crossing rivers. Loose, dusty gravel and a thunderstorm. I cannot even fathom. But they made it - through a tough day - and he said they took lots of pictures to share. I cannot wait to see the pictures, and hear all of the stories.. I love that he takes time to send me pictures like this...

 

So they will continue on tomorrow - finishing up Colorado and heading into New Mexico.  And the stories and memories will continue to be made.

Update from the road...tire issues!

Wednesday's ride wasn't so smooth, with Ken getting a flat! New tires - put on before they hit the trail - in Kalispell, and already a flat. They patched it with hopes of the patch holding. His last text was a BEAUTIFUL sunset from their campsite... Montana - Big Sky Country for sure.

This morning the patch was not holding, so they had to make a side trip to Helena to get it fixed. After that they were able to ride from Lincoln to Bozeman. So not as many miles as hoped today, but these kind of issues are to be expected.

So the boys stopped early tonight - at a hotel - so they can do laundry, etc. Hopefully tomorrow's ride will be smoother. They are still loving the sights. Beautiful country.

On the home front? William is now gone, leaving me to try to find our friendly bat all by myself. I've done some "digging" around in the basement, trying to get him to come out, but nothing yet. It was a beautiful day, so I spent some time on the yard today. Will get back down in the store room after dinner. I asked William to grab a tennis racket and fishing net before he left. He grabbed the musky net... (Any of you know how big those are???) Too funny. May need to take some goofy pix.. there is definitely an entire blog in the future with this. Oh, the joys.

mechanic, accountant, exterminator.. OH MY! And an update from the road...

Yesterday was hard for me. Because the guys finally hit the off-road trail, there was no contact. It was a long day waiting for the text that they had arrived somewhere to camp. But at 11:30 pm they had arrived, set up camp, enjoyed dinner, and had a chance to check in. They rode 122 miles on the trail yesterday - Ken enjoyed it very much!

Life on the home front is.... shall we say, ironic.

Ken has been gone for 6 days. In those six days, I have added the following skills to my resume.

• dirt turner (while I do a lot of the gardening, I don't use the tiller, can't, and so I am tilling the entire country garden the old way - with a crazy tool I inherited from my uncle)
• accountant (taking over all the bill paying)
• small engine diagnostic (the lawn mower started smoking, and I knew enough to call a friend's husband for help)
• demolition (removed all the chair rail in the bedroom. felt good to tear something apart, I won't lie)
• spackler (yep - you read that right. spackling the nail holes as I prep the bedroom walls)
• exterminator (William discovered a bat in the basement tonight. We shut the door. I'll deal with that tomorrow)

The bat was enough to make me laugh out loud. Seriously? It's not like I don't already realize how much I miss Ken. We didn't need a bat to know that.

The garden was the first shock. I have to work it daily - to stay ahead - and having missed two days, I am paying for it. What a workout. Good for the soul! What I wouldn't give to have it tilled...

I'm dealing with the bills - knowing which to pay online, which snail mail, and have them all on the calendar.

If my friend cannot fix the lawn mower tomorrow, I will head to Menards to buy the old fashioned non-electric kind, which I've wanted to get anyway, so I can mow the lawn. It will be a heckuva workout to boot.

In beginning my renovation of the bedroom, I ended up with two new skills. Demolition - taking down the chair rail - is probably my favorite, but spackler sounds pretty cool. I will in the next week be adding painter as well, but I'm not there yet.

But the bat. Seriously? We've lived in this house since 1995 and have never had a bat. I hate bats. Oh, the stories from our old farm house. Ken loves to tell about my horror stories with the bats out there. So the fact that the first time he leaves for an extended period of time, WE GET A BAT. ugh. ironic.

Like I said. We shut the basement door. I'll deal with THAT job tomorrow.

emotions on the homefront

So it is the end of day 5. I believe this is the longest that Ken and I have ever been apart. Weird, considering how much I travel to see friends, but it's usually a long weekend. Five days being the most. And it's more than just five days, it's the fact that there are still 16 days to GO.

I am trying to stay busy. Working on prepping the bedroom for painting, defrosting the freezer, working the garden, etc. But there is still the looming piece missing. He's never been gone for more than a couple of days. I'm starting to notice. I have so much more to do, the yard work, the bills, etc. Things that he normally handles.

The first four days of the trip, they stopped often - so he checked in. This morning they left for the trail head, now riding off-road. He hasn't checked in since 10. I know there will be times he can't get messages out. I know there will be times that they just don't stop. But the instant loss of contact has been maddening. It is why I have to keep busy. I pray that he has a chance to let me know how far they got. That they are ok.

I miss him like crazy. I miss that every day connection of talking about our days. Of making plans together. Since leaving my full time job, I've been able to spend SO much more time with him, and I have gotten spoiled.

A friend recently lost her husband - age 34. I now can imagine what she is going through. But my time apart, without him, is finite. It will be over in 16 more days. He will be home. She doesn't have that. Keeping her in my heart makes my days go easier.

Still hoping for that text. Just a few words - so I know all is well. Then back to keeping busy, until the next text. I will live from text to text. Holding my breath for the next word.

Notes from the road....days 3 and 4

Day 3 they traveled from Ray, ND to Cut Rock, MT. It was a LONG day of riding, which ended up making for some sore riders.

Day 4 started out wet. Cut Rock had some pretty strong thunderstorms go through. Waiting out the storms caused them to miss the appointment at the Kalispell, MT Harley Dealer to get Ken's off-road tires mounted. After re-scheduling for Tuesday, they spent the day riding around Glacier National Park, taking the Going to the Sun Road. In Ken's words, "We have to go back".

We've been to Glacier, but were unable to get to the west side due to snow. So we missed the sun road. Per Ken, it's a must see. They spent 8 hours driving around the park, and have settled into a hotel in Kalispell. Tomorrow morning they will get tires, and then start the trek down the off-road trails.

Tonight they are enjoying the last night before starting that next leg.

We are doing well here at home - keeping the gutters cleaned out, the garden weeded, and life running as it needs to run.

Wild Hog Adventure...end of days 1 and 2

The boys have checked in off and on throughout the last two days of traveling.

Day 1 was full of adventure! They had wanted to leave by 8am, and were out of the driveway at 7:57! It was a great start to the trip. Many hugs and kisses before they left me teary eyed. So excited for them, but can't lie - I will miss him dearly. The first stop was Medford, WI - for breakfast and topping off with fuel. Then onto Ashland for a new headlight for my hubby's bike. (Not sure if that was planned - or something happened. They are only checking in with texts, so we don't get a lot of detail.)

The next check-in was around dinner time - when they were in Grand Rapids, MN having a Friday night fish fry (a WI/MN tradition) and a Grainbelt beer. (When in Minnesota, do as the Minnesotans do....) At that point, the trip was going really well, and the hubby gave it two thumbs up.

Next check in was not so cheery. "made it 2 bagley and daves bike shifter broke off. Motels r ful and he went to get it welded”. mmm. Through more texts (including one to Dave's wife), I found out that not only did his shifter break off, but Ken had to push him to get him moving (in order to get to a place to get it fixed. And Dave also blew the two main fuses in his bike, which also got fixed. Ken texted me off and on for quite awhile, as he sat on a park bench in Bagley, waiting for Dave. At that point they had not found a place to stay, so I got them a hotel in Grand Forks, ND - where they reached, and checked in somewhere around midnight. They relaxed with the gift from friend Keith (which gave them self-induced headaches to start day two.)

Day 2 - today - was much less eventful (a good thing!) with text pictures Devil's lake, Rugby, ND (the geographical center of North America), and Minot. They were in Ray, ND, the destination for the day, early - to spend the night at a friend's home, and relax, before heading onto Montana tomorrow to start the ride down the Continental Divide. There was some rain on the radar, but Ken never mentioned that it was difficult for them, so I'm not sure if they hit it at all.

I love hearing the adventures - and am only getting short texts. Could take a week just to hear all about it when they get home.

Sending my Wild Hog off...

We are motorcycle drivers. My husband drives a Harley and I a Buell. We don't take long trips. But we love to ride. We are looking forward to being empty nesters - and then starting to take some longer rides.

About a year ago, my husband and a friend of his started talking about doing the Continental Divide - off road. At the time, I honestly never thought it would come to fruition. We don't have an off-road bike. My husband doesn't ride off road.

Our Wild Hogs

But...

The hunt for the perfect bike began. He knew he wanted a Buell Ulysses. He's read up on them, wanted to stay with the Harley company, and wanted American made. We looked at them while on road trips, and he finally found one online for sale - in southern Wisconsin.

 

 His ride, loaded and ready.

 

Once the bike was purchased, it became a blur. There was new riding clothes, a new helmet, maps, a new camera... and before I realized what was happening, he had 3 weeks of vacation planned, and the trip was on!

He is SOOO excited about this trip. I jokingly call it his mid-life crisis, but it truly is a trip of a lifetime for him. They will have an amazing time.

Sent them off this morning. Bikes loaded, they hit the road for an adventure of a lifetime. We had a long talk last night...We've never been apart this long. And I worry about him - riding off road, camping, etc. I will miss him incredibly, already do. He's my partner in life, and having to go solo for three weeks won't be nearly as fun. But in 3 weeks, he'll have pictures and stories to tell for a lifetime. I can't wait to hear them.

Godspeed boys. Godspeed.

Fourth of July prep is on!

Every year we host a large bbq for the fourth of July. Our small town of 800 people celebrates the holiday in true small town American style - with a parade, a carnival, music and food, and of course fireworks. After the parade, family and friends migrate to our house for a big old-fashioned summer party. It is my FAVORITE time of the year. For hours, friends come and go, stopping by to say hello, have a drink, play some cards.... Sitting in the shade sipping lemonade and iced tea.... I know it sounds like a cliché, but it really is just a fantastic day....

The pork has been pulled, and the beans have been soaked. Today we will finish the mulching, clean house, and prepare the rest of the food. Our menu this year is a southern pork bbq - Pulled pork slaw burgers, baked beans, bacon green beans, cornbread, macaroni salad, and banana pudding, with Lynchburg Lemonades for the adults, and lemonade for the kids.

Every year, too many people try to bring food to share, resulting in TOO much going to waste. So this year we've started a new tradition - bringing food for our local food pantry instead! A chance to help local families. Icing on the cake of a beautiful holiday.

I can't wait for tomorrow. To have a house FULL of family and friends, sitting in the shade enjoying each other's company! A wonderful way to celebrate this amazing country we live in. Happy 4th of July. God Bless America!

Missy Positive???

My hubby calls me Missy Positive. I try REALLY hard to see the bright spots in life. I try to keep the negative lying low - knowing that we weather the storms we do to build who we are. That each trial/tribulation is making us stronger, and more whole.

So this morning's facebook post is pretty typical:

 

"For whatever reason, MOST mornings I wake up around 5:30 or 5:45. But on days like today, I realize how much I cherish my mornings alone, before the rest of the house wakes up. Morning news, my computer, a cup of coffee, and the world waking up outside. Beautiful sunny morning today... time to get out, water the planters, and pull some weeds before Zumba. Have a wonderful day, be thankful for life's Blessings."

One of my friends commented about how she loves to read my posts, because they are so positive. Mission accomplished.

 

But people need to know that life isn't always positive. It's not always easy to deal with. Sometimes we don't understand. And actually, right now I am going through one of those times.

 

Yesterday a friend of mine lost her husband. They are relatively newly married (7-10 years?), built their dream home a few years ago, and just gave birth to their first child two months ago. Things like this make me wonder....why something like this has to happen. Why my dad, at 87, with complete dementia, just keeps kicking, and this young, vibrant man had to be taken.

 

But in the horrible sadness, it is these events that teach me to BE positive. To BE thankful for all of life's Blessings, right down to the smallest. So today I am thankful for my two hours of quiet. I am thankful for the family still sleeping. For the good cup of coffee. For my flowers outside.

 

Because we never know folks. We just never know when our lives will be turned upside down. Be thankful for EVERY Blessing EVERY day.  

 

 

 

Why do I hesitate?

I had an awesome girlfriend lunch today. An impromptu text - and we both had the afternoon free - so we hit our favorite coffee shop to sit and chat for a few hours. Man, it was just what I needed.

She knows my struggle with the crossroad I am at. Do I jump in, buy the local café and start a coffee shop? Do I go back to school, get my teaching certificate and try to get a full time job? Or do I stay part time.

I have been DREAMING about the café. I have so many ideas. It has been my passion for so long, it feels as if it's a part of me. So why am I hesitating in even finding out the numbers? Why haven't I met with the owner to get the details?

She knows me so well. Together we've been praying for guidance for me. But I also realize that God isn't going to throw it at me, I have to do the legwork myself. And he will show me what I need to know to decide. So I need to make that call.

We talked about the fact that I always put others first, and being part time, I spend a LOT of time taking care of my hubby and son. And if I were to open the café, they would notice. I don't know if that is why I am procrastinating on calling?

Do I feel that I can't do it? That I'll fail? I don't think so - - - I am confident that I could do this. If I can find the funding. And I think I would LOVE doing it.

So why am I stopping myself?

Procrastination - friend or foe?

I have been a procrastinator for all of my life. Some times in my life worse than others. In school, I ALWAYS waited until the last minute, claiming (as many do) "I work best under pressure".

"I work best under pressure" is just a CRUTCH! It is a way to make ourselves feel ok about putting things off until the very last minute!

I do this ALL the time. For instance, tomorrow I am having 4 kids over for brunch. My house is not clean. I have had plenty of time in the last four days to clean house. But instead, I picked up my writing project and worked on that. I made a few new recipes for the brunch, just to try them. I finally started weeding the flower beds. Spent the entire day today at craft day at church. All things that really didn't need to be done before the cleaning.

So now I sit here BLOGGING. Instead of cleaning. I have so much to do, but I feel that I'll be JUST fine watching a bit of Ellen and blogging. And I will feverishly clean my entire home from top to bottom tonight - hopefully starting in a few hours (oh, who am I kidding?)

I have only been bitten a couple of times with my procrastination, most of the time faring quite well. But WHY do I tempt fate every time?

I love that I'm blogging about it as a means of justifying not doing it. Oh, the injustice of it all.

Ok, I will seriously get to cleaning now. On the next commercial. ;)

Tough research...

Three years ago, my life was changed when my best friend suffered a traumatic brain injury as a result of a car accident. I've wanted to write MY perspective since then. Tonight I started in earnest, and it is not easy. I didn't realize all of the emotions would come back so real.

I am glad to be writing it. Hoping it will be a gift to her some day. So that she knows what we experienced, and how we prayed...

The downs in between the ups....

I try hard to stay positive, but sometimes things happen that are just a little crummy. My son was playing in a baseball tournament today - and in game two, his last at-bat, an inside pitch hit his left hand. He instantly took the glove off - but put it back on, and continued through the at-bat. Once the game was over, and I got to see it, I knew it wasn't good. Already very swollen and black, we decided a trip to the ER was in order.

His girlfriend, bless her heart, with me all day at the tourney, was wonderful to have along. And she stayed with us the entire time. X-rays showed a break in the bone on the left side of his left hand. A temporary cast was put on, with a follow-up in a week with the orthopedic doctor, and a more permanent cast - which will remain for 4-6 weeks.

The break was small, and even, and should require no surgery if everything continues smoothly. He is very lucky. But it doesn't make it any easier for me to handle, as mom. I am sad that he is in pain. I am sad that his entire summer is messed up - from weight training to basketball league to legion baseball. I want to be positive, and I am for him, but inside I feel crabby that this happened to him. And while I know it could have been so much worse, it still makes me mad that it happened to him.

His girlfriend stayed here for awhile tonight, and we all went out to the movie together. He's a complete trooper - not asking for hardly anything, taking care of himself, and NO complaining. He is already talking about what he CAN still do this summer for football training and basketball. That's my boy. So proud of him.