Foodie Prom Night

It's Prom. For years, with my daughter at home, Prom was an exciting time - dress shopping, hair appts, pictures... SO exciting. Now with my son, it is completely different. He took his clothes to a friend's house, where the boys (all single) would eat, then go to the dance, then to another friend's house for the night. No fun pictures. No flowers. No excitement. SIGH.

What does this mean for ME? For my HUSBAND? It means we are CHILD FREE tonight. While the DH worked today, I cooked. I am a foodie, and LOVE having an entire day to bake and cook and totally spoil my husband.

Dinner was amazing. Balsamic and brown sugar glazed pork tenderloin, sage stuffing, garlic smashed potatoes, carrots in brown butter, roasted mushrooms, and lemon bars. When he got home, I had his favorite drink ready for him (Jack and coke) and we sat down for a WONDERFUL adult dinner, just the two of us.

As he ate the pork (one of the best I've made), he just kept nodding. Gave me the two thumbs up. Said I'm a keeper.

So prom was definitely different this year - but not in a bad way. Just different.

Time to enjoy an Irish coffee or two. What a wonderful way to end the night!

All About Me....

Some things everyone needs to know (or not - but I'm going to tell you anyway):

• I love the smell of living here in Central Wisconsin. I love the smell of the clover, the woods, the freshly mown hay... I LOVE the smell of my home state.
• I think I was born in the wrong century. I love the Laura Ingalls time - and love when I have to bring in wood to keeep the house warm, or get to can and freeze and "put up" for the winter.
• I am a domestic. I love cleaning, and cooking, and taking care of my family.
• I worry almost every night about something happening to my husband and/or children.
• I once jumped out a window to avoid getting caught at a party. (first floor)
• I think that when I sit on the deck, and the wind gets really strong, it's my mom letting me know she is thinking of me. (I lost my mom in 2006)
• I periodically go months without having any alcohol, just to make sure I have control. (alcoholims runs in my family)
• I want to run a 5K.
• I love life. People have called me a life-a-holic. (soon to be another post)
• I feel like I don't have enough time in my life to do all the things I want to do. (who doesn't)
• I am constantly searching for antiques from my childhood, and am filling my home with them.
• I also search and fill my gardens with the same plants my mother and grandmother had.
• The thought of losing memory scares me to death. I hope and pray that in heaven I can remember all the details of my life vividly. (dimentia runs in my family)
• I think that filling my home and garden with things from my childhood will help me retain those memories a little longer.
• I hate that when I think of my kids as babies, I don't "feel" the memory.
• I miss having my family Christmases.
• I have started three different books, but never tried to finish/publish any of them.
• Some day I want to be published.

So these are some things about ME.

Birthday month: a work in progress

Had an amazing 42nd birthday. Blessed by a day with fellowship, crafting, good friends, lots of laughing, and great food and coffee. Once a month, we have craft day at our church, and it's been one of my guilty pleasures since I semi-retired last October. The ladies that I get to hang with are such amazing people, and it's just a refreshing, soul-feeding day!

Most of the ladies are there to quilt.

I am not a quilter.

I cannot sew.

There. I said it. I feel better just saying it out loud.

Don't judge.

For the last six months, the ladies have been joking about "converting" me. Turning me into a sewing quilter. And in all truth, I have always WANTED to quilt. I used to sew. Well, that may be an overstatement. I made two ugly pillows right after I got my sewing machine. Since then, it's not been threaded.

I know.

PLEASE don't judge.

Yesterday I asked a few questions - I really feel like I need to explore this way of expressing my creativity. I love the beauty of the PROCESS of quilting. the HISTORY.

I crave the ability to create something that tells a story. In such a beautiful way.

I vowed, in front of them all, that I have officially added a goal to my 2012 list: I will learn to thread my machine. I will get to know my machine. I will learn to love my machine. (Not saying I will actually SEW anything in 2012.. don't go crazy.)

So, as we were leaving church yesterday, one of the ladies joked with me that I was simply "a work in progress". Meaning - they're not done with me yet. They'll get me quilting.

Funny thing is, "A work in progress" could be the name of this blog. So I loved her reference. And I love that they've not given up on me yet. Who knows? There is a piece in this quilt-like life set aside for sewing. I just haven't conquered it yet.

But no one is giving up on me.

Because I'm just a work in progress.

Birthday Month : the wife

I am dedicating today's note to my dear husband, and being his wife. Tomorrow is his birthday.

I have known from our second date that he is my life mate. We just fit. We are serious yin and yang. Opposites attract. etc...

And honestly, the longer we're together the closer we get. We've been together for 19 years, married this October for 17 years. Wow, that seems like a lifetime. And yet to me, it seems like nothing at all.

What do I love best about being a wife? Being taken care of. He just "does" things. Fixes them. Changes the oil. Tightens the dishwasher hose. Tills the garden. So many things, too many to mention.

And I love taking care of HIM. I love keeping a clean house, making a wonderful dinner, packing a lunch, making something to surprise him.

And I love living life with him. The ups and the downs. The twists and turns. He's an amazing partner. I am very lucky to have been Blessed with him.

In Honor of Earth Day - birthday month: the conservationist

I actually feel wrong calling myself a conservationist, but couldn't come up with a different word. I am a novice conservationist. One in training. But something I am very interested in, and am looking to improve at!

A little history. My parents were way ahead of their game when it came to living naturally. Knowing my parents, one wouldn't think so. But while living in a lower middle class home in small town America, I was taught the importance of living green. We recycled in the early 70s, when we had to take them to the recycling center. We composted, even though we lived in town. They religiously read Mother Earth News, and had great hopes (which did not come true) about building an underground home that existed on solar energy. So thank you Mom and Dad!

While in college in Blair, NE, I had an opportunity to spend an Earth Day weekend with the Lakota indian tribe on their reservation. It was an amazing weekend of learning about the respect for Grandmother Earth, and all of the traditions and history the native americans have about Earth.

Fast forward to 2012 - I am a small town wife and mother, trying to do my best for the Earth. We composte, grow our own veggies, recycle as much as possible. (I even brought home two bags of recycling from NE this weekend because they couldn't recycle it, and we can! I am not above hauling trash!) I try to make as much as I can from scratch, to ensure the least amount of energy used - understanding the energy used to make, package, warehouse, and transport pre-packed products. I love hanging clothes out to dry, cooking outside on a dutch oven...

But I also know there is SO much more we can do. But I am focusing today on what we can do MORE to be BETTER to this amazing Mother Earth we live on. I'll keep you posted! What do YOU do to keep Mother Earth going???

Birthday month - the wannabe landscaper

Oh how I wish I had talent for landscaping. I have great ideas. Amazing intentions. But my projects just NEVER look like I imagined. Had the same problem back in art classes. Great vision, no idea how to execute.

This spring is no different. Three pretty big projects in the works. Last fall my DH built me a beautiful pergola. So this summer, my goal is to put a flagstone "patio" underneath it. Have the list of materials.... the "how to". We'll see how that goes. Because I have MORE time this year, I want more VEGGIES! But we live in town, so I've never been able to have the "creepers" - cukes, etc. But we are going to try to build a cucumber climbing trellis. Again. Have plans, the "how to". Keeping our fingers crossed. And the last project for this spring is a rock edge. We have been struggling with how to finish the edge of our gravel pad - and I think a simple rock edge with plants is the answer. I have rocks coming next week, so it's a go.

I have great visions of a beautiful, shaded lush yard. But I'm definitely not there. We'll see. I'm young. There is time... And I'm not afraid to try/screw up/and try again.

Birthday month - I've lost track! : scrapbooker

I've been ill. And then I was "unplugged" for five days (NOT A BAD THING). So I have completely lost track of what is going on, what day of the month it is, etc. Today I'm trying to regain my home, having been gone for 5 days - doing dishes, laundry, etc.

The reason I was gone this weekend - I was scrapbooking. So instead of blogging late at night when up coughing, I simply got up and scrapbooked. It was a very productive weekend!

I started scrapbooking about 15 years ago... was a CM consultant for awhile, then owned a store. Now I just get to scrapbook because I love it. It is the most relaxing thing. I become "regrounded" when I get to spend time doing it. I've been REALLY Blessed to have TWO weekends in the last month to get away and crop. With two different groups of women. Both amazing groups.

This month I was just cropping family pix. But more than that, I really enjoy doing specialty albums. I have started a Faithbook. I need to resurrect that. And I have been pulling pictures and things to do an album on ME. About me. What I love to do, sort of like this blog patter this month - showcasing the different things that make up Missy.

I used to think I was not a creative person. But I can scrapbook. I don't have to be artisitic to scrapbook. And for that, I am thankful!

I found myself STARING at some of the pictures I worked on this weekend. My friend kept asking me if I was "ok". I just giggled. "Just enjoying the pictures" was my response. I love the memories that are hidden behind those photos. THAT is why I do this. WHy I spend the time and money creating these keepsakes. They hold the memories....

Birthday month - day six: a Christian

I was born into Christianity. Baptized, and confirmed. I think I thought at confirmation that I was done learning - the rest was just coasting. I suppose many 8th graders think that. Luckily for me, I chose a Christian college. I grew so much in those four years. Believe me, I made my share of wrong turns, but I also explored my own spirituality at a level I'd not experienced before.

So after leaving college, and moving back home, I became active in our church. After meeting my husband, he joined me. We changed churches, to our current congregation here in town when our oldest was approaching confirmation class. The commute would be difficult. Again, I think I was just "coasting" along. We were active - teaching Sunday school, ushering, lectoring, etc. But I wasn't STUDYING. I wasn't LEARNING.

After our Pastor's first wife lost her battle with cancer, he was able to meet and marry again. After she joined the congregation, she began a women's Bible study that is going on many years now! We have studied the Bad Girls of the Bible series, as well as many other studies. We are currently on Proverbs, and it is in this study that the understanding of just how much I have to learn came to me.

So I've started reading the Bible. Who would have ever thought that I would actually sit down and start reading the Bible? I'm learning so much. It causes me to ask questions, to dig in, and really think about what God's words mean to me. And to how I live my life. And how I need to live it EVERY day.

And I have begun my prayer journal. Not every prayer is written, because many have to happen right away. They don't get written down. They are simply prayed when needed.

Watched the Passion with my husband and son yesterday - as a reminder to why we celebrate Easter and what Jesus did to die for our sins. It is so humbling.

So I am a Christian in Training. :-) And I am working on it. I try very hard. I struggle with some of my thoughts and decisions. But I'm learning just to stop what I'm doing and pray. Giving it up. Hard thing to do, but the only way. I've learned through my life that all of the trials and tribulations God gives us are gifts. To teach us, to make us stronger. And I have a lot of learning left to do.

I came across this in my email today - and want to share.

By Marianne Williamson
O, The Oprah Magazine | From the May 2010 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Spiritual-Development-and-Healing-Practices-from-Marianne-Williamson#ixzz1raThktqA

1. Recognize your Creator. Think on this: There is a supreme power in the universe that is bigger and more powerful than your small mortal self. This step makes you humble.

2. Seek opportunities to put more love into the world. Strive to be a vessel of love, to fill the world with more compassion and kindness. This step makes you loving and lovable.

3. Set aside time each day to spend in spiritual reflection and contemplation. Dwell in the presence of the divine: Your path may be to pray, meditate, read spiritual material, take a long walk through nature—or all of the above—but an optimum practice includes both morning and evening sessions of at least 20 minutes each. This step makes you strong.

4. Become more accepting. With every interaction, surrender any tendency to judge another person. Pray for a more accepting heart. This step makes you gracious.

5. Forgive anyone you have not forgiven. Whenever you withhold forgiveness, you keep yourself bound to your own feelings of guilt. This step makes you kind.

6. Recognize your mistakes. Admit where you yourself have been wrong, and be willing to be corrected. This step makes you responsible.

7. Try to see the good in others. When you're tempted to judge someone, make an effort to see their goodness. Your willingness to look for the best in people will subconsciously bring it forth. This step makes you positive.

8. Take stock of your thoughts and behavior. Each night ask yourself, when were you negative when you could have been positive? When did you withhold love when you might have given it? When did you play a neurotic game instead of behaving in a powerful way? Use this process to self-correct. This step makes you grow.

9. Bless the world. Pray not just that your own life will be blessed but that blessings be poured on everyone. This step makes you beautiful.

10. Use each interaction to be the best, most powerful version of yourself. Try to rise to the occasion. Be the most wonderful expression of you that you're capable of. This step makes you a conduit of God's love.


Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Spiritual-Development-and-Healing-Practices-from-Marianne-Williamson#ixzz1raQtDuDR

Volunteer follow-up!

I was able to contact CMN, youth group, and LWML. It's a start! So easy when given the gift of time to let it go to waste. NO MORE! I'm in withdrawl! TIME TO GET BACK TO IT!

Birthday month day 5 - the volunteer

Ok, I know that I am slacking on the whole birthday discovery thing. I'm pretty sick - but on the mend. Need to get back to life! Been trying to kick myself in the butt today - doing some housework, writing out some delayed birthday and sympathy cards - etc. And that includes my blogging. (If I feel REALLY good, may even do another post later!)

So today I want to cover my work as a volunteer. Reason being - here is my horoscope for today:

Take care not to get up on a soapbox today, Melissa. You have strong opinions on everything from religion to politics. If you begin to expound on them you risk offending people. You would be better off keeping your views to yourself for a change. In fact, rather than trying to change people's minds with words, why not try and do so with your actions? Setting the right example is often the most effective form of persuasion.

Before I even read this today - I had been thinking (had a lot of time to do that being sick and all.) Thinking about how I can give back more. I've always loved volunteering - and was Blessed to work at a company that allowed me to include community service projects as part of my job -  working with CMN and United Way. But since I've left my job, I've not added more time to those groups, nor added anything new. I realize that I'm Blessed with more time now and I'm NOT USING IT LIKE I SHOULD!

 I've been thinking about different places I can help out.

• I've been able to help with the funerals at church, which is good, but I've not joined the LWML. I need to do that.
• I've been able to help out with the PTO funraiser at school, but I don't feel a strong connection as my children are no longer in that school. So I don't see more committment there.
• I feel that I want to spend some more time with our youth group. I started a youth program at our church, but it was NOT at all successful. A dear friend has made it blossom, and maybe now is time to help her out. I'll ask. I would enjoy that.

So on my agenda:

1. Contact both CMN and United Way to see what opportunities they have for my services.
2. Contact the leader of the LWML and join.
3. Talk to the CIA youth leader to see where I can help. I am one of those people whose bucket is filled by being able to help.
4. Put some meetings and hours on my calendar THIS WEEK.

I'm not saying this to alutruistic. (Is that even the right word? Ha!) But to point out that I've been given this gift of more free time and I have completely neglected opportunities to give back. Shame on me. So having been thinking of this today, and then receiving this in my email, I realize it's time to make those calls! What a better way to make a difference - lead by example - and hopefully inspire others to do the same. Watched the Passion with the guys yesterday. Jesus gave up so much for us. God Blesses us every day. It's time to live in His image EVERY DAY.

Birthday month - day four - the daughter

Day four - Melissa the daughter

Not sure what brings me to this melancholy topic. Life has been a little crazy of late, so maybe I'm missing my mom just a little bit more right now. I lost my mom 6 years ago this May. I was only 36. And while my dad is still alive, he has severe dimentia and doesn't even know me many times I go and visit. So in all honesty, I am no longer a daughter. But I was once.

I had an amazing relationship with my mom. The youngest of six, the other children all much older, much of my childhood I was the only child at home. And with my dad (an alcoholic) often drunk or sleeping, it was really just the two of us.

I hope that I was a good daughter. I know I wasn't always. But I hope in the big scheme of things, I was better than not. We used to have this Saturday morning tradition. We'd start out with breakfast at Hardees, then get the groceries. For whatever reason, we always had to check everything off the list as we put it away to make sure it was rung correctly.

And we spent a ton of time at the park. It was our place to get away when dad got bad. We'd sit, sometimes feed the ducks, and just talk. I wish I could remember those conversations right now. I wish I could relive them, so that I could have a moment with her.

Even though my mom was older she was always there for me. She never let me down. She was amazing.

After college, my daughter and I moved back and lived with them for about a year - until we moved in with my husband. Then while I was back to being her daughter, I got to see her with MY daughter - being an amazing grandmother.

As mom aged, and her health deteriorated, I was able to take care of her. There were times that I was angry about being the only one helping. There were times I resented having to get the groceries, take them to appointments, etc. But I can tell you one thing. I was back here for 14 years, taking care of her, and I wouldn't give ONE MINUTE of that back.

I miss her every day. And I am so grateful to have been her daughter.

Melissa the daughter

Birthday month - day three - the domestic

I realize that I didn't post yesterday - about one of my traits. So catch up time!

The third "me". The domestic. There, I've said it. It's out. I'm domestic. And I am not ashamed.

I've always been domestic, but until I left my job, I wasn't able to really dig in, and enjoy, and explore. I love cleaning, cooking, baking, taking care of my family!

So much so that I once asked for (and received) a book entitled "Cleaning Plain & Simple" for Christmas.

I get such happiness out of providing for my family. Not in a monetary, or materialistic way, but in our home. Providing them with clean clothes, a clean and beautiful home, good food on the table, etc. And while I did as much as I could when I was a full time working mom, I can do so much more now, and enjoy it so much.

So there it is.

I am a domestic. And I am not ashamed.

Birthday Month...day 2 - the reader

I wasn't sure what part of me to look into today. And then I made a choice to finish my current book - The Book Thief. What an amazing book. One of the best five books I've EVER read. Compelling. Beautiful. Eloquent. Frightening. Madening. Romantic. One of the best written novels I've ever read.

Then I realized how much words mean to me. The move me. They take me out of this life we call our normal, to amazing places.

I've always loved reading. But there were many, many years when I did not take time to read for myself. But about five years ago, a few friends and I at work started a book club, and it's renewed my love and committment to reading.

There is nothing like finishing a story like The Book Thief. the kind of story that changes you.

I am a reader.

Birthday Month...day 1 - the gardener

So on the 24th of this month I turn 42. I've decided that each day until then I am going to reflect on a part of who I am, and do something for that part of my person.

On this, day 1, I pay tribute to Melissa the Gardener!

I love to play in the dirt.

I wish I knew more about gardening.

I'm thrilled to have more time now to spend TIME on gardending.

But I am still very much a novice. With MUCH to learn.

I've tried in the past to start my garden plants from seeds, with little success. So instead of trying the tomatoes, and peppers, etc., this year I'm trying to raise my bedding plants - annuals. I spend a ton of money on them every year, and maybe I can save that money doing it myself inside. I did plant some cukes and eggplant, because I had the seeds. But the rest are marigolds, sweet peas, sunflowers, and impatiens. Today I'm going to spend some time transplanting some of the little ones into bigger pots, hoping to get them stronger. We'll see. Only time will tell.

I'm also going to dedicate a few hours this afternoon to beginning my gardening journal, something I've always wanted to do. I will include a timetable for taking care of my perennials and trees, and then notes on my gardens as well. It's a start!

So raising my cup of tea to Melissa the Gardener today. Cheers~