Missy Positive???

My hubby calls me Missy Positive. I try REALLY hard to see the bright spots in life. I try to keep the negative lying low - knowing that we weather the storms we do to build who we are. That each trial/tribulation is making us stronger, and more whole.

So this morning's facebook post is pretty typical:

 

"For whatever reason, MOST mornings I wake up around 5:30 or 5:45. But on days like today, I realize how much I cherish my mornings alone, before the rest of the house wakes up. Morning news, my computer, a cup of coffee, and the world waking up outside. Beautiful sunny morning today... time to get out, water the planters, and pull some weeds before Zumba. Have a wonderful day, be thankful for life's Blessings."

One of my friends commented about how she loves to read my posts, because they are so positive. Mission accomplished.

 

But people need to know that life isn't always positive. It's not always easy to deal with. Sometimes we don't understand. And actually, right now I am going through one of those times.

 

Yesterday a friend of mine lost her husband. They are relatively newly married (7-10 years?), built their dream home a few years ago, and just gave birth to their first child two months ago. Things like this make me wonder....why something like this has to happen. Why my dad, at 87, with complete dementia, just keeps kicking, and this young, vibrant man had to be taken.

 

But in the horrible sadness, it is these events that teach me to BE positive. To BE thankful for all of life's Blessings, right down to the smallest. So today I am thankful for my two hours of quiet. I am thankful for the family still sleeping. For the good cup of coffee. For my flowers outside.

 

Because we never know folks. We just never know when our lives will be turned upside down. Be thankful for EVERY Blessing EVERY day.  

 

 

 

Why do I hesitate?

I had an awesome girlfriend lunch today. An impromptu text - and we both had the afternoon free - so we hit our favorite coffee shop to sit and chat for a few hours. Man, it was just what I needed.

She knows my struggle with the crossroad I am at. Do I jump in, buy the local café and start a coffee shop? Do I go back to school, get my teaching certificate and try to get a full time job? Or do I stay part time.

I have been DREAMING about the café. I have so many ideas. It has been my passion for so long, it feels as if it's a part of me. So why am I hesitating in even finding out the numbers? Why haven't I met with the owner to get the details?

She knows me so well. Together we've been praying for guidance for me. But I also realize that God isn't going to throw it at me, I have to do the legwork myself. And he will show me what I need to know to decide. So I need to make that call.

We talked about the fact that I always put others first, and being part time, I spend a LOT of time taking care of my hubby and son. And if I were to open the café, they would notice. I don't know if that is why I am procrastinating on calling?

Do I feel that I can't do it? That I'll fail? I don't think so - - - I am confident that I could do this. If I can find the funding. And I think I would LOVE doing it.

So why am I stopping myself?

Procrastination - friend or foe?

I have been a procrastinator for all of my life. Some times in my life worse than others. In school, I ALWAYS waited until the last minute, claiming (as many do) "I work best under pressure".

"I work best under pressure" is just a CRUTCH! It is a way to make ourselves feel ok about putting things off until the very last minute!

I do this ALL the time. For instance, tomorrow I am having 4 kids over for brunch. My house is not clean. I have had plenty of time in the last four days to clean house. But instead, I picked up my writing project and worked on that. I made a few new recipes for the brunch, just to try them. I finally started weeding the flower beds. Spent the entire day today at craft day at church. All things that really didn't need to be done before the cleaning.

So now I sit here BLOGGING. Instead of cleaning. I have so much to do, but I feel that I'll be JUST fine watching a bit of Ellen and blogging. And I will feverishly clean my entire home from top to bottom tonight - hopefully starting in a few hours (oh, who am I kidding?)

I have only been bitten a couple of times with my procrastination, most of the time faring quite well. But WHY do I tempt fate every time?

I love that I'm blogging about it as a means of justifying not doing it. Oh, the injustice of it all.

Ok, I will seriously get to cleaning now. On the next commercial. ;)

Tough research...

Three years ago, my life was changed when my best friend suffered a traumatic brain injury as a result of a car accident. I've wanted to write MY perspective since then. Tonight I started in earnest, and it is not easy. I didn't realize all of the emotions would come back so real.

I am glad to be writing it. Hoping it will be a gift to her some day. So that she knows what we experienced, and how we prayed...

The downs in between the ups....

I try hard to stay positive, but sometimes things happen that are just a little crummy. My son was playing in a baseball tournament today - and in game two, his last at-bat, an inside pitch hit his left hand. He instantly took the glove off - but put it back on, and continued through the at-bat. Once the game was over, and I got to see it, I knew it wasn't good. Already very swollen and black, we decided a trip to the ER was in order.

His girlfriend, bless her heart, with me all day at the tourney, was wonderful to have along. And she stayed with us the entire time. X-rays showed a break in the bone on the left side of his left hand. A temporary cast was put on, with a follow-up in a week with the orthopedic doctor, and a more permanent cast - which will remain for 4-6 weeks.

The break was small, and even, and should require no surgery if everything continues smoothly. He is very lucky. But it doesn't make it any easier for me to handle, as mom. I am sad that he is in pain. I am sad that his entire summer is messed up - from weight training to basketball league to legion baseball. I want to be positive, and I am for him, but inside I feel crabby that this happened to him. And while I know it could have been so much worse, it still makes me mad that it happened to him.

His girlfriend stayed here for awhile tonight, and we all went out to the movie together. He's a complete trooper - not asking for hardly anything, taking care of himself, and NO complaining. He is already talking about what he CAN still do this summer for football training and basketball. That's my boy. So proud of him.

God always provides...

I have really come to a point in my life and Faith where I do give things up to God, knowing He will provide for me. And I don't mean He will provide for me so that I don't have to... He provides opportunities... so that I can work hard, and provide for myself. He puts people in our lives, so that they can help us on our journey. When I quit my job, he put so many opportunities in front of me, that have allowed me to pursue so many passions....

I am at a crossroads. Since leaving management, I have been sub-teaching. And I love it. But now I am questioning if I should pursue my teaching degree - go back to school - to be a teacher full time.

Additionally, the café in town is again for sale, and I am wondering if I should take the leap and open up my coffee shop.

I am praying for direction. For a sign, of which way I need to go. Of course, I need to do MY part of the work to figure it out - contacting the university to see what it would take to complete that degree - and meeting with the owner of the café to see what investment I'm looking at, so I can run the numbers. And then, maybe then, I will see what direction God wants me to go in!

But even in lesser events, God provides. I have been SO busy lately - with one event on top of another to prepare for. To the point that I am getting burned out. And I didn't know how everything was going to get done. When I got a call, cancelling a long weekend of company coming to my house. It freed up everything - giving me DAYS to catch up. It is just what I needed. While I'm sad the company isn't coming, it is their choice, and it really helps me out. Again, God provided an out for me - an opportunity to breathe.

God does provide, and sometimes we just have to have Faith in that. God does provide!

Settling into summer....

After four days of summer, I'm feeling that we are settling into our summer. Getting up early, and watering planters, working in the yard, etc. I'm enjoying summer zumba - twice a week - to get my heart pumping. And the garden is FINALLY in - a month late due to flooding and rain this spring - but it is in. Had to give in to no peas (too warm already), and it's not nearly as big as past years, but it's in, and we should have some yummy fresh produce in a month or so.

We have company coming this weekend, so I need to get the house "company clean" in the next two days. UGH! They leave on Tuesday - and then we are into fourth of july prep (our big annual party) which means weeding the beds, fresh mulch, and food prep. HOLY cow. The day after the 4th, my hubby is off on a 3 week cycle tour of the continental divide, and I have great plans for those three weeks, finishing projects around the house. But I think that first day I might take the day off. I might need it. I see summer fleeting by... not to mention a couple of weekend trips coming up~

Had an impromptu summer bonfire with friends on Tuesday. One of those "hey - what are you doing right now" kind of parties. Good friends, gathered for a mid-week evening, relaxing around the fire with drinks and smores. It was a perfect evening. Met friends from my old job out last night, and today have lunch with a dear friend and her daughter. Summer is that chance to catch up - to make time for each other - and to reconnect.

I love summer. The pace. Being outdoors. Being active. Finding time to catch up with friends. It is such amazing time of year. So thankful it is here. Thankful for every single day, and the Blessings we have. Enjoy the beauty of summer peeps. ENJOY!

Finding the Blessings..

I am "Missy Positive" as my husband has named me.  I try very hard to maintain a positive attitude, see the positive in all situations, and most of all CREATE the positive in my life. (It is up to each of us, to create our own happiness!)

This week has had several chances for me to see the Blessings hidden in not-so-positive events. Tonight was a classic example.

Driving home from town tonight, I got behind about 6 cars following a large farm implement going slowly. I'm sure the drivers were frustrated, places to be, to get to, and stuck behind this slow moving vehicle.

But we have had a REALLY wet spring/early summer. And when I say REALLY wet, I mean flooded. Our growing season is a month behind. Many farmers (I've heard as much as 30%) have not even gotten into their fields yet. So in all honesty, the fact that the farmer was out and about - WORKING in his fields is a huge Blessing. It means he is in those fields, trying to get something planted.... THAT my friend is most certainly a Blessing.

So what we need to do - is find those things - those hidden Blessings - sometimes in disguise of a crummy incident. It's up to us to find those Blessings - and say thanks for them.

Father's Day reflections...

On this day that we celebrate Father's Day, I've been reflecting on all of the father's I've had in my life....

My grandfather Ernest, Grandpa B.. my mother's dad. Really, the only grandpa I ever knew. My dad's dad died before I was born, and my step-grandpa died when I was young, and lived further away - so I saw him very little. So Grandpa B was my GRANDPA. A staunch German farmer, a large man, balding and quite old when I was born, he was pretty quiet... a man of few words. I remember growing up we went to visit them every night after dinner, and played cards and visited. I realize now that my mom was just checking up on them, but at the time I didn't realize they needed to be checked on! Grandpa B taught me to play Schmear (spelling?), and Sheephead, laughing all the while I learned. He used to sit on his corner of the couch, just taking everything in (typically with a little child sitting next to him). I used to go with Grandma and Grandpa B to their country garden, where I learned to plant straight rows, and how to hoe... Although he died when I was around 12, I have great, dear fond memories of him, and for that I will always be thankful.

My dad. Being the youngest of a large family, my dad was older when I was born - 45. He worked on the road, so he wasn't around a ton - home most nights for dinner - but then quickly to bed. He wasn't really a hands-on dad, my mom did most of the discipline and rearing. While growing up, we did not have a good relationship. He drank, and it put up a wall. But when my youngest was 2, he stopped drinking, and I found a dad with a great sarcastic wit, one I'd never known. Dad is still plugging along at 87, and I love that I've had the last 14 years to really get to know him. Dementia has taken most of his mind, but he's still a happy man, ready to joke with you, and I cherish each visit I get.

My dear, dear husband. The great teacher. I love how many life skills he has taught our children. He lets the kids TRY. He encourages them to be part of processes and lets them learn. Whether it's letting our then 5 year old help put in the concrete screws in our home addition, or teaching our 20 year old daughter how to change the brakes on her car, he is ALWAYS teaching. There are so many things I cannot do. But I don't have that fear for our kids. Because he has helped them - do life things - like changing a toilet seat, cleaning out a gutter, working on machines, changing a headlight on the car, or simple building skills.

My favorite memory of his teaching the kids came a few years back. Our daughter was back from college for the summer. I came home from work, and found the three of them in the driveway, she with a notepad and pencil. When I asked what was going on, he explained that they (the kids) were taking the truck into town to go to Menards, to buy the materials to make a bean bag toss game. And they did. Built it themselves, painted it, etc., and to this day we use it. He guided them through it - but they did it themselves.

I know that they may not appreciate doing some of the things (the toilet seat and brakes stand out), but some day they will understand the importance of all he has done. They won't be afraid to do things. And in some cases, they'll know enough to pay someone to do it (the brakes), but will understand the importance of taking CARE of things.

I am very lucky to have all of the dads in my life. But these three stand out. All have influenced who I am today.... and I am very thankful for all!

School's Out for SUMMER!

finally!

Finishing the year with seven straight weeks of teaching, I very much appreciate summer! Friday was my last day - done by 1pm - and let me tell you...while I'm going to miss my students incredibly, I am very much looking forward to the summer!

Right after school on Friday, William and I headed into town to run some errands. He grabbed his new CD - Queen's Greatest Hits - and we hopped in the truck. I love that my 16 year old son grabbed QUEEN for a roadtrip to town. We cranked the tunes, rolled down the windows, and hit the road. Singing along, chatting the entire way.

it was a wonderful way to start summer vacation....

Saturday started a whirlwind of activity - traveling to celebrate a friend's son's graduation, then back home to await the arrival of a girlfriend from Nebraska, and then Monday off to Green Bay to celebrate my amazing daughter turning 21.

Returning late Tuesday night, we threw together a quick Italian dinner of bread, salad, and pasta, along with an antipasti appetizer. A bottle of Moscato topped the meal. It was a wonderful last night's dinner to share with Karen.... sad to see the visit come to an end!

So today was the first true day of summer for me. I got to sleep in a bit (until 6:30), drink lots of coffee, and play in my flower beds. Had to dodge the rain here and there, but all in all it was a lot of fun. And hopefully the first of many, many days.

Happy Saturday morning!

Started some French toast this morning for my son, who is off in an hour to work a charity run. Snuck outside to water my hanging baskets, and was greeted by a small bird who joined me on the deck for awhile (not sure of the variety), and then a woodpecker on the tree next to me. There are leaves and branches to be cleaned up from the last two days of thunderstorms, but the sun is shining, and the birds are out.

The garden is still under water (literally - standing water), so I haven't had a chance to plant! But I have a couple of raised beds with cukes, garlic, and radishes, and I planted a container on the deck with lettuce, so it's nice to see some of the new sprouts coming up.

Time to make a pot of coffee, grab my book, and sit on the deck for awhile. Enjoy this beautiful God given day!