Being a grown up sucks. Two years ago I had to issue DNR orders to allow my mom to die. Today I had to have my dad sign papers to enter the King Veterans Home. Days like these are SO hard. I'm only 38. Having to deal with aging parents has been so much harder than I ever imagined. Mix that in with taking care of a teenager and a son, and it's so taxing.
Dad is ready to leave the house, but not to enter a home. It is so hard to try to explain. He just doesn't remember or understand things. Some days he doesn't realize Mom is gone and it's been two years.
I realized that now that the papers are signed, and he has his doctor appt in early September, that he could be in the home by mid-sept. I realize now how much I'm going to miss taking care of him. While it's so much mental strain and work, I have come to enjoy my lunches over there. They've become a way of life.
Dad's only going to be an hour away, but I know that it will be much further between visits. I've said from the beginning that I worry that my visits will become so much fewer. Taking care of him has insured my time with him.
While days are hard - especially having to relive mom's last days to help him remember - they've also been fun. It's great listening to his stories. It's fun when he cracks a joke. We discuss world events, and family. I go over every detail of my vacations with him - as he lives through me.
I guess today I realized just how much of a Blessing the last years (16) have been - coming back here to take care of both Mom and Dad. I wouldn't trade them in for the world. Many (including some family) looked down on me for moving back - feel I've not lived to my potential. I realize now my greatest potential was in the last 16 years. What a gift.
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