birthdays

I was up late last night making homemade cards for a fundraiser. Seems all my days are based around fundraisers these days. Could be worse things I guess. Sex in the City came on. Probably my all time favorite show. I own the entire series. And they were two of my favorite episodes.

I like to think that deep down I am Carrie. The first episode last night was the birthday episode where no one shows up at her birthday dinner. Ironic, in that my birthday is Thur. They all have their reasons - traffic, wrong place, etc. But she sits there, alone, realizing just how alone she is. I can completely empathize with her. I lost my mom in 06, and with that, much contact with my family. I guess Mom was the glue keeping us in contact... I lost my best friend to another city in 07. I miss her ridiculously. I lost my store to the greed of others. And I feel like I'm losing my identity.

The second episode was the one where Carrie is asked to be a runway model, and she trips - becoming "runway roadkill". She lies there a moment, and decides not to slither away, but to get back on her feet and shake it off. And I feel like that is what I need to do right now. I'm going through some issues, and I need to hold my head high, and shake it off. I hope that I can do as well as she did.

It's amazing how watching shows I've seen literally dozens of times before can make you feel good. Say the right thing, just when you need it. I guess all I really need for my birthday is a good bottle of wine and a night to watch Sex in the City. My needs as I continue to age change, they evolve, but into much more meaningful things.