my original intent with this is changing. how funny is that. i think this has replaced by best friend, who moved a few months ago. while we are still very close, i used to vent to her so often throughout the day. i think this is my new venting vessel!
been an emotional week, lots going on. lots i've realized i've missed or forgotten. trying to get it all down on paper. whew. need to get my arms around so much.
then i go visit dad. who was not having the greatest day. asked about mom four times - not realizing she's been gone for 16 months already. we talked a lot. he asked questions. i tried to answer. when i flipped through the checkbook to pay the newspaper bill, i saw all of mom's entries in the log. right up until april 14th last year. ten days before she went to the hospital. how i love to see her handwriting. she had beautiful handwriting. very much her signature. i've read through several of the letters i have from college, which i will cherish for the rest of my life. just seeing her handwriting in the ledger made me miss her.
and when i left, i made some comment about getting back to the grind, and dad only said "it's quiet here. too quiet"
that makes me sad too. while they had a far from perfect marriage, they were together for 55 years. i can't imagine how quiet and slow his days are... and then i realize just how unimportant my problems are.
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