12 years

yesterday was my 12th wedding anniversary. so of course i ponder. last friday night i had a horrible nightmare. ken, my dh, had 'tired' of me. he had found someone else, had an affair, and when i found out, he simply shrugged me off. divorced me. moved on. i was so utterly devastated that i couldn't function. i called upon all of my friends. they tried to comfort me. but i truly couldn't go on. i couldn't exist without him. not like that. it was horrible. i cried my entire dream, woke up completely exhausted.

ken and i are ridiculously in love. while each of us has horrific habits that annoy the other, we both realize that no one is perfect. we are each other's soul mate. the day he proposed, he stated it perfectly. "It's like before I met you I was only half a person, but now I am whole." we do complement each other. we just fit. we are complete opposites that have come together in harmony.

so the thought (in my dream) of this ending, not going on forever is not understandable. i cannot imagine either one of us ever turning to someone else. there just ISN'T anyone else for us. every year together we become closer, and more in love. this nightmare was the worst thing i could imagine.

but of course it is only a dream. yesterday we celebrated our anniversary at a favorite restaurant. it was a wonderful night - as are most. glad i'm living my reality, and not that dream.