listen to the silence

One of the most profound things I've realized in my time "post-corporate world" is that the world is so noisy. Our lives are filled with obligations, and distractions. And if we can simply find the time, and place, to stop what we're doing, and listen to the silence, we can hear what is in our hearts.

This quote came across my email today, thanks to my Oprah.com Thought for Today...

"There are times when we stop. We sit still...

We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper."
— James Carroll.

The world is so noisy... take time to pause and look for the silence.... it is in the silence that we can listen to our hearts, and God.

heaven?

A note from a dear friend who very recently moved away made me smile and cry within the same minute. And it made me think of all those that I've "lost" to other parts of the country, or world.

I've spoken about living "the new normal" before, but sometimes I wonder why my normal has to keep changing. Why people enter my world, only to then have to leave at some point.

I was the one to move "away" from my college friends when I returned to home after graduation. But then one moved closer to me, only to move away again several years later. My closest friend followed a job away many years ago - almost 7 years now - in the same year that I lost my mom. And now, our dear Pastor and wife, people so integrated in our lives....

And there have been many in between!

Yes, I learn to live these new normals - with social media, the internet, blogging, etc. keeping our communication fresh. But it's not the same as sitting on the deck with a cup of coffee, or laughing over drinks on the couch, or chatting over knitting or cross stitch.

What would I do, if I could have all of these so very important people all around me now? At the same time? I guess that is what Heaven will be like for me.... surrounded by ALL of my Blessings. All at once. Something to look forward to, I guess. Just wish I could have a little bit of Heaven here on earth once in awhile.

Little things add up!

A lot of people say that they could never cook as much as I do, could never "provide" for their family like I do. Between working, and kids' committments, there just isn't time. But what people don't realize is that it's the little things here and there, that add up to being able to do it.

Today I was making meatloaf for the family, so I doubled the recipe, and froze the second one for a future meal. I do this a lot when cooking. If making lasagna, manicotti, spaghetti pie, etc., I double the recipes, and freeze a second. Then, when there are those crazy weeks, I can pull something to thaw and cook. It's an amazing time saver. It allows us to have real food on weeks when we would normally have takeout, saving us money in the process.

There are so many little time savers. They may seem small and insignificant, but they add up! When I was working full time, it's these little time savers that helped me out.

So my message is this. Don't give up on cooking and providing for your family. Don't try to do everything, but don't give up completely. There are so many little things that you can do, to not only provide for your family, but save money, and do good things....

Good luck!

Girlfriend time....

One of the things I gave up when I left full time work was my weekend scrapbooking getaways. A friend asked me months ago if I could take her spot at one (so she wouldn't lose it), and I decided to. So for the first time in two years, I had three days away - at a spa-like retreat center - with girlfriends, great food and wine, and LOTS of pictures and scrapbooking.

I had forgotten what power these weekends have. The rest, relaxation, healing. Amazing what medicine laughter can be!

We spent the weekend looking at old photos, reliving stories, and sharing.

I also got to spend some long overdue time with my closest neice, someone as close as a sister, over wine one evening, and again over coffee the next day. For the first time, I was able to sit with someone and talk about some of my fears, and insecurities.. something that was so in need.

We cannot forget to feed our souls - with relationships close to our hearts, and time to let go and think. The world gets so noisy with all that our lives include. It is the times like this weekend, when we set all of that aside, that rejuvenate our souls.

breathing more clearly tonight. with a fresh outlook. rested. happy. Blessed.

saying goodbyes...

I try very hard to keep this blog positive, upbeat, and fun. But sometimes life just hands you something that isn't so great, and this is where I talk about my life. So if you're not in the mood to listen to my sad, selfish story, I am giving you a chance to opt out -

now would be the time.

So you're in? Thanks - it helps to think someone is reading.... I don't know why, but it does. I don't write for myself as much as I enjoy writing for you. So if you stuck with me, I thank you.

I've blogged before about the fact that our Pastor is leaving.

Tomorrow is the day.

And tonight I had to say goodbye.

And it sucked.

I didn't know how to invite myself over there to say goodbye, but Pastor fixed that for me - asking me to stop by to pick something up. And I'm so very thankful for the night - the couple of hours sitting at the dining room table chatting. But eventually it was time for me to go home, and the goodbyes had to be said.

And it sucked.

I cried last Wednesday at our goodbye dinner for Pastor's wife. I cried on Sunday - his last service. I cried each night chatting with his wife on FB. So I was kind of hoping that I could skip that part tonight. But no such luck.

When talking to my son about it, he, wise beyond his years, said "they're a huge part of our life".  so true...

My husband asked why I don't cry like this when I say goodbye to friends who live across the country...after a visit. I explained that they aren't a part of my daily life that is now gone. He told me "not to let the next one in so far". (Joking of course - knowing how deeply I care for both of them.)

I know change is good. I've definitely not kept away from change in my life. But I don't enjoy having to say goodbye to the good stuff so much.

I am so very thankful for the Blessings we've had with them in our lives. And my Faith leads me to know that God has other plans for us right now - and we will just have to wait to find out what that is. But my heart will still be sad to not have them in our daily lives. They will be greatly missed.

Crazy few days....

It's been a whirlwind of a few days..

• Served our Italian feast to 79 guests - 49 on Friday night and 30 on Saturday. Very fun - went off without a hitch!
• In between baking 22 baguettes, and 9 chocolate cakes, and 8 huge trays of lasagna for the dinners, I was also trying to clean up my workshop for an expose on my crafting. YEP. Same weekend.
• Saturday after the final meal, we celebrated our friend,s birthday - which meant no cleanup time until Sunday.
• Sunday started out with the highly emotional final service from our Pastor, who has left to take another call. Then washing all the dishes from Saturday's catering, and THEN the photographer for the expose came over to photo me in my craft workshop.
• Today was the interview for the expose, so I finished putting away all of the catering supplies and got my house back to normal before she showed up.

So in four days - I've cooked for and served 79 people, had a photo shoot and interview, and said goodbye to an amazing couple who I will miss dearly.

I think I'm going to make a pot of coffee, put my feet up, and read. 

Yeah - that sounds like a good way to spend a Monday!

Dinner theater night one = SUCCESS!

A sit down Italian Feast for 52 wonderful patrons was a SUCCESS! Plenty of food, hot where it needed to be hot - cold where it needed to be cold - and many, many, many compliments and requests for recipes!

It's been a whirlwind week doing this. Something I've not done before. But I wouldn't think twice about doing it again, if I'm asked. Too much fun, planning, shopping, baking, baking, cooking, baking, baking.... you get the idea.

Jotted down a couple of notes for tomorrow night's dinner, will gather my notes tonight, write up a shopping list, and plan for tomorrow. Need to bake a few batches of baguettes, three cakes, and of course three pans of lasagna.

All in all, an extremely successful day. Had GREAT help from a dear friend, who offered out of nowhere. Couldn't have done it without her. And we had SO much fun. Need to think of some fun way to thank her!

So the thought of a commercial kitchen is still in my head. This was a good taste. Actually had someone state they'd keep me in mind if they are having a big party! It would be amazing to be able to turn this into a career. Doing something I LOVE. mmm. there is a thought!

Well, it's late, and I've got a LOT to do tomorrow. Sunday will be a welcome rest. But tonight, I go to bed, with dreams of our Italian dinner tonight. A good, good night.

My Under the Tuscan Sun moment....

I am a hopeless romantic....

Under The Tuscan Sun is one of my all time movies. The main character is a writer. After a sudden divorce, her friends send her on a long vacation to Tuscany. While there, she falls hopelessly in love with a dilapidated Tuscan estate, and buys it. She hires a Polish family to fix up the house, who becomes like family to her. Additionally, she befriends her real estate agent and family, as well as an eccentric American woman who teaches her to embrace life.

My favorite scene in the movie is a dinner scene. After living in the home, through all of the renovations, there comes a time when she hosts a big family dinner for all of her Tuscan friends, filling her big, empty home, with the sounds of family. I love that scene.

Last night I had an amazing group of ladies from my church over, for an Italian feast, as we bid farewell to our Pastor's wife, moving to with Pastor to his new calling. These ladies are all like sisters and mothers to me, and I love them so dearly. So I cooked all day - preparing homemade baguettes, poppyseed brocolli salad, lasagna, and chocolate cake. I set the table with linens, got down the wine glasses, and let the night begin.

For hours, we sat and laughed, shared stories, and cried. It was the perfect night.

I realized that there are few things I enjoy more than cooking for, and enjoying a wonderful dinner with, good friends and family. What a wonderful Blessing to surround yourself with people you love, and who love you,

I think that another of my resolutions for 2013 is to have many, many more Under the Tuscan Sun moments....

CRAZY cooking....

So I cannot say no.
All of my family and friends know this. And yell at me about it.

but I just cannot say no

especially for a good cause...

So when I was approached to make the meal for our high school's dinner theater, what ELSE could be my answer?

So in two days I will be cooking a sit-down Italian dinner consisting of homemade baguette, house salad, lasagna, and buttermilk chocolate cake. On Friday - for approximately 55, and some also on Saturday (not nearly as many as Friday).

YEAH.

It hit me yesterday - just how many pans of lasagna, baguettes, and pans of cake this means. WOWZA.

Today is my dry run - a test run - that I am treating to the guinea pigs otherwise known as my family and Bible Study group.

While I only made 2 baguettes and one cake and salad, I did decide to brown all of the meat today (18 lbs!).

What does it take to make an Italian feast for say... 65? let's start with....
10 pounds of ground beef
8 pounds of pork sausage
15 pounds of marinara
10 boxes of lasagna noodles
80 cups of mozzarella cheese
8 lbs of cottage cheese
3 dozen eggs
5 lbs of flour
4 lbs of sugar
1 lb. of cocoa
4 lbs. of powdered sugar
a LOT of lettuce
6 bottles of dressing
2 jars of pepperocini
2 cans of olives
5 bags of croutons
plates, silverware, napkins, cups
12 aluminum pans

And I do have more to buy. But this is the bulk of it.

I'm taking pictures of course - there will be a final blog of this whole amazing process. It's been a BLAST so far. But the next two days are gonna be CRAZY cooking days..... bon appetit!

writing...writing...writing

So inspired this week. I've had so many little God moments that are putting my goals, hopes, and aspirations, into my mind. It's been over a year since my life change - and certainly I've not done anything amazing. But in the last year I've begun to listen to my heart, and to who I am. I am continuing to mold and develop my goals and hopes. So don't give up on me yet!

One of the "dreams" on my heart involves my writing. And I've seen opportunities for using it. And my heart continues to grow. And I'm dedicating time to it.

So here's my pitch.

Just throwing out a little note. Don't ever give up on yourself.

A ho-hum life? I love it!

I'm not one of those people who "dreams" big, for the most part. I didn't grow up as a little girl dreaming of her wedding. I didn't go to college dreaming of a fantastic career. My life has been a crooked path, but one that has led me to the most beautiful place....

I guess I'm more of a person who lives in the moment. Taking what life throws at you, and making the best of it. Maybe that's just my Faith showing through. Knowing that God is in control.

Today has been a wonderful day...a "normal" day, one we don't often see around our household. After church and Sunday school, I was able to do some laundry, change the bedding, clean out the fireplace, put away dishes, and watch a little football.

I've got some chicken thawing for lunch.. planning on making rice pilaf, roasted sweet potatoes, and baked cauliflower poppers. Ken won't be home until 3:30 from work, so I'll make an early dinner around 5.

Got to chat with Allie - off away at college - online today. And I love that she sent me a link to a chocolate cake that I can possibly use for a dinner I'm catering on Friday and Saturday. It's always fun to have such adult conversations with her.

I finished knittng her a scarf this week, so I'll prepare a box of goodies to send to her too - to start off her new semester. I love that she appreciates when I can do something like knit her a scarf. There is just something about being able to provide for your family.

So while my ho-hum life may not be the dream for some, it is the most amazing life to me. I am so Blessed by everything around me.

Goals

Hefty title, yes?

GOALS.

goals.

per Wikipedia: A goal is a desired result an animal or a system envisions, plans, and commits to achieve.

We all have them. Call them what you will.

bucket list, goals, resolutions....

Some are small, attainable goals. Goals to live the life we should already be living. Eating better, drinking enough water, exercising, etc. Periodically we take time to reassess our lives, and refresh.

Others are maybe unspoken. Goals in our hearts. Personal goals that the world doesn't need to know. Goals that push us every day in our actions, and in our choices.

But the thing with goals, at least for me, is that I need them in front of me. Not hidden, but visible. everywhere. or I forget. Tonight a dear friend gave me a nudge on my writing. That I hadn't been writing. Not even knowing that writing daily is a personal goal I set for myself. And the problem is, it's a personal goal I've not shared with a lot of people. It's not on a list of resolutions. So out of site, out of mind.

So whatever your goals, resolutions, or bucket list....

Take time every day.  Do something for yourself. We set goals to better ourselves. We owe it to ourselves.