Missy Positive???

My hubby calls me Missy Positive. I try REALLY hard to see the bright spots in life. I try to keep the negative lying low - knowing that we weather the storms we do to build who we are. That each trial/tribulation is making us stronger, and more whole.

So this morning's facebook post is pretty typical:

 

"For whatever reason, MOST mornings I wake up around 5:30 or 5:45. But on days like today, I realize how much I cherish my mornings alone, before the rest of the house wakes up. Morning news, my computer, a cup of coffee, and the world waking up outside. Beautiful sunny morning today... time to get out, water the planters, and pull some weeds before Zumba. Have a wonderful day, be thankful for life's Blessings."

One of my friends commented about how she loves to read my posts, because they are so positive. Mission accomplished.

 

But people need to know that life isn't always positive. It's not always easy to deal with. Sometimes we don't understand. And actually, right now I am going through one of those times.

 

Yesterday a friend of mine lost her husband. They are relatively newly married (7-10 years?), built their dream home a few years ago, and just gave birth to their first child two months ago. Things like this make me wonder....why something like this has to happen. Why my dad, at 87, with complete dementia, just keeps kicking, and this young, vibrant man had to be taken.

 

But in the horrible sadness, it is these events that teach me to BE positive. To BE thankful for all of life's Blessings, right down to the smallest. So today I am thankful for my two hours of quiet. I am thankful for the family still sleeping. For the good cup of coffee. For my flowers outside.

 

Because we never know folks. We just never know when our lives will be turned upside down. Be thankful for EVERY Blessing EVERY day.  

 

 

 

Why do I hesitate?

I had an awesome girlfriend lunch today. An impromptu text - and we both had the afternoon free - so we hit our favorite coffee shop to sit and chat for a few hours. Man, it was just what I needed.

She knows my struggle with the crossroad I am at. Do I jump in, buy the local café and start a coffee shop? Do I go back to school, get my teaching certificate and try to get a full time job? Or do I stay part time.

I have been DREAMING about the café. I have so many ideas. It has been my passion for so long, it feels as if it's a part of me. So why am I hesitating in even finding out the numbers? Why haven't I met with the owner to get the details?

She knows me so well. Together we've been praying for guidance for me. But I also realize that God isn't going to throw it at me, I have to do the legwork myself. And he will show me what I need to know to decide. So I need to make that call.

We talked about the fact that I always put others first, and being part time, I spend a LOT of time taking care of my hubby and son. And if I were to open the café, they would notice. I don't know if that is why I am procrastinating on calling?

Do I feel that I can't do it? That I'll fail? I don't think so - - - I am confident that I could do this. If I can find the funding. And I think I would LOVE doing it.

So why am I stopping myself?

Procrastination - friend or foe?

I have been a procrastinator for all of my life. Some times in my life worse than others. In school, I ALWAYS waited until the last minute, claiming (as many do) "I work best under pressure".

"I work best under pressure" is just a CRUTCH! It is a way to make ourselves feel ok about putting things off until the very last minute!

I do this ALL the time. For instance, tomorrow I am having 4 kids over for brunch. My house is not clean. I have had plenty of time in the last four days to clean house. But instead, I picked up my writing project and worked on that. I made a few new recipes for the brunch, just to try them. I finally started weeding the flower beds. Spent the entire day today at craft day at church. All things that really didn't need to be done before the cleaning.

So now I sit here BLOGGING. Instead of cleaning. I have so much to do, but I feel that I'll be JUST fine watching a bit of Ellen and blogging. And I will feverishly clean my entire home from top to bottom tonight - hopefully starting in a few hours (oh, who am I kidding?)

I have only been bitten a couple of times with my procrastination, most of the time faring quite well. But WHY do I tempt fate every time?

I love that I'm blogging about it as a means of justifying not doing it. Oh, the injustice of it all.

Ok, I will seriously get to cleaning now. On the next commercial. ;)

Tough research...

Three years ago, my life was changed when my best friend suffered a traumatic brain injury as a result of a car accident. I've wanted to write MY perspective since then. Tonight I started in earnest, and it is not easy. I didn't realize all of the emotions would come back so real.

I am glad to be writing it. Hoping it will be a gift to her some day. So that she knows what we experienced, and how we prayed...

The downs in between the ups....

I try hard to stay positive, but sometimes things happen that are just a little crummy. My son was playing in a baseball tournament today - and in game two, his last at-bat, an inside pitch hit his left hand. He instantly took the glove off - but put it back on, and continued through the at-bat. Once the game was over, and I got to see it, I knew it wasn't good. Already very swollen and black, we decided a trip to the ER was in order.

His girlfriend, bless her heart, with me all day at the tourney, was wonderful to have along. And she stayed with us the entire time. X-rays showed a break in the bone on the left side of his left hand. A temporary cast was put on, with a follow-up in a week with the orthopedic doctor, and a more permanent cast - which will remain for 4-6 weeks.

The break was small, and even, and should require no surgery if everything continues smoothly. He is very lucky. But it doesn't make it any easier for me to handle, as mom. I am sad that he is in pain. I am sad that his entire summer is messed up - from weight training to basketball league to legion baseball. I want to be positive, and I am for him, but inside I feel crabby that this happened to him. And while I know it could have been so much worse, it still makes me mad that it happened to him.

His girlfriend stayed here for awhile tonight, and we all went out to the movie together. He's a complete trooper - not asking for hardly anything, taking care of himself, and NO complaining. He is already talking about what he CAN still do this summer for football training and basketball. That's my boy. So proud of him.

God always provides...

I have really come to a point in my life and Faith where I do give things up to God, knowing He will provide for me. And I don't mean He will provide for me so that I don't have to... He provides opportunities... so that I can work hard, and provide for myself. He puts people in our lives, so that they can help us on our journey. When I quit my job, he put so many opportunities in front of me, that have allowed me to pursue so many passions....

I am at a crossroads. Since leaving management, I have been sub-teaching. And I love it. But now I am questioning if I should pursue my teaching degree - go back to school - to be a teacher full time.

Additionally, the café in town is again for sale, and I am wondering if I should take the leap and open up my coffee shop.

I am praying for direction. For a sign, of which way I need to go. Of course, I need to do MY part of the work to figure it out - contacting the university to see what it would take to complete that degree - and meeting with the owner of the café to see what investment I'm looking at, so I can run the numbers. And then, maybe then, I will see what direction God wants me to go in!

But even in lesser events, God provides. I have been SO busy lately - with one event on top of another to prepare for. To the point that I am getting burned out. And I didn't know how everything was going to get done. When I got a call, cancelling a long weekend of company coming to my house. It freed up everything - giving me DAYS to catch up. It is just what I needed. While I'm sad the company isn't coming, it is their choice, and it really helps me out. Again, God provided an out for me - an opportunity to breathe.

God does provide, and sometimes we just have to have Faith in that. God does provide!

Settling into summer....

After four days of summer, I'm feeling that we are settling into our summer. Getting up early, and watering planters, working in the yard, etc. I'm enjoying summer zumba - twice a week - to get my heart pumping. And the garden is FINALLY in - a month late due to flooding and rain this spring - but it is in. Had to give in to no peas (too warm already), and it's not nearly as big as past years, but it's in, and we should have some yummy fresh produce in a month or so.

We have company coming this weekend, so I need to get the house "company clean" in the next two days. UGH! They leave on Tuesday - and then we are into fourth of july prep (our big annual party) which means weeding the beds, fresh mulch, and food prep. HOLY cow. The day after the 4th, my hubby is off on a 3 week cycle tour of the continental divide, and I have great plans for those three weeks, finishing projects around the house. But I think that first day I might take the day off. I might need it. I see summer fleeting by... not to mention a couple of weekend trips coming up~

Had an impromptu summer bonfire with friends on Tuesday. One of those "hey - what are you doing right now" kind of parties. Good friends, gathered for a mid-week evening, relaxing around the fire with drinks and smores. It was a perfect evening. Met friends from my old job out last night, and today have lunch with a dear friend and her daughter. Summer is that chance to catch up - to make time for each other - and to reconnect.

I love summer. The pace. Being outdoors. Being active. Finding time to catch up with friends. It is such amazing time of year. So thankful it is here. Thankful for every single day, and the Blessings we have. Enjoy the beauty of summer peeps. ENJOY!