Birthday month day 5 - the volunteer

Ok, I know that I am slacking on the whole birthday discovery thing. I'm pretty sick - but on the mend. Need to get back to life! Been trying to kick myself in the butt today - doing some housework, writing out some delayed birthday and sympathy cards - etc. And that includes my blogging. (If I feel REALLY good, may even do another post later!)

So today I want to cover my work as a volunteer. Reason being - here is my horoscope for today:

Take care not to get up on a soapbox today, Melissa. You have strong opinions on everything from religion to politics. If you begin to expound on them you risk offending people. You would be better off keeping your views to yourself for a change. In fact, rather than trying to change people's minds with words, why not try and do so with your actions? Setting the right example is often the most effective form of persuasion.

Before I even read this today - I had been thinking (had a lot of time to do that being sick and all.) Thinking about how I can give back more. I've always loved volunteering - and was Blessed to work at a company that allowed me to include community service projects as part of my job -  working with CMN and United Way. But since I've left my job, I've not added more time to those groups, nor added anything new. I realize that I'm Blessed with more time now and I'm NOT USING IT LIKE I SHOULD!

 I've been thinking about different places I can help out.

• I've been able to help with the funerals at church, which is good, but I've not joined the LWML. I need to do that.
• I've been able to help out with the PTO funraiser at school, but I don't feel a strong connection as my children are no longer in that school. So I don't see more committment there.
• I feel that I want to spend some more time with our youth group. I started a youth program at our church, but it was NOT at all successful. A dear friend has made it blossom, and maybe now is time to help her out. I'll ask. I would enjoy that.

So on my agenda:

1. Contact both CMN and United Way to see what opportunities they have for my services.
2. Contact the leader of the LWML and join.
3. Talk to the CIA youth leader to see where I can help. I am one of those people whose bucket is filled by being able to help.
4. Put some meetings and hours on my calendar THIS WEEK.

I'm not saying this to alutruistic. (Is that even the right word? Ha!) But to point out that I've been given this gift of more free time and I have completely neglected opportunities to give back. Shame on me. So having been thinking of this today, and then receiving this in my email, I realize it's time to make those calls! What a better way to make a difference - lead by example - and hopefully inspire others to do the same. Watched the Passion with the guys yesterday. Jesus gave up so much for us. God Blesses us every day. It's time to live in His image EVERY DAY.

Birthday month - day four - the daughter

Day four - Melissa the daughter

Not sure what brings me to this melancholy topic. Life has been a little crazy of late, so maybe I'm missing my mom just a little bit more right now. I lost my mom 6 years ago this May. I was only 36. And while my dad is still alive, he has severe dimentia and doesn't even know me many times I go and visit. So in all honesty, I am no longer a daughter. But I was once.

I had an amazing relationship with my mom. The youngest of six, the other children all much older, much of my childhood I was the only child at home. And with my dad (an alcoholic) often drunk or sleeping, it was really just the two of us.

I hope that I was a good daughter. I know I wasn't always. But I hope in the big scheme of things, I was better than not. We used to have this Saturday morning tradition. We'd start out with breakfast at Hardees, then get the groceries. For whatever reason, we always had to check everything off the list as we put it away to make sure it was rung correctly.

And we spent a ton of time at the park. It was our place to get away when dad got bad. We'd sit, sometimes feed the ducks, and just talk. I wish I could remember those conversations right now. I wish I could relive them, so that I could have a moment with her.

Even though my mom was older she was always there for me. She never let me down. She was amazing.

After college, my daughter and I moved back and lived with them for about a year - until we moved in with my husband. Then while I was back to being her daughter, I got to see her with MY daughter - being an amazing grandmother.

As mom aged, and her health deteriorated, I was able to take care of her. There were times that I was angry about being the only one helping. There were times I resented having to get the groceries, take them to appointments, etc. But I can tell you one thing. I was back here for 14 years, taking care of her, and I wouldn't give ONE MINUTE of that back.

I miss her every day. And I am so grateful to have been her daughter.

Melissa the daughter

Birthday month - day three - the domestic

I realize that I didn't post yesterday - about one of my traits. So catch up time!

The third "me". The domestic. There, I've said it. It's out. I'm domestic. And I am not ashamed.

I've always been domestic, but until I left my job, I wasn't able to really dig in, and enjoy, and explore. I love cleaning, cooking, baking, taking care of my family!

So much so that I once asked for (and received) a book entitled "Cleaning Plain & Simple" for Christmas.

I get such happiness out of providing for my family. Not in a monetary, or materialistic way, but in our home. Providing them with clean clothes, a clean and beautiful home, good food on the table, etc. And while I did as much as I could when I was a full time working mom, I can do so much more now, and enjoy it so much.

So there it is.

I am a domestic. And I am not ashamed.

Birthday Month...day 2 - the reader

I wasn't sure what part of me to look into today. And then I made a choice to finish my current book - The Book Thief. What an amazing book. One of the best five books I've EVER read. Compelling. Beautiful. Eloquent. Frightening. Madening. Romantic. One of the best written novels I've ever read.

Then I realized how much words mean to me. The move me. They take me out of this life we call our normal, to amazing places.

I've always loved reading. But there were many, many years when I did not take time to read for myself. But about five years ago, a few friends and I at work started a book club, and it's renewed my love and committment to reading.

There is nothing like finishing a story like The Book Thief. the kind of story that changes you.

I am a reader.

Birthday Month...day 1 - the gardener

So on the 24th of this month I turn 42. I've decided that each day until then I am going to reflect on a part of who I am, and do something for that part of my person.

On this, day 1, I pay tribute to Melissa the Gardener!

I love to play in the dirt.

I wish I knew more about gardening.

I'm thrilled to have more time now to spend TIME on gardending.

But I am still very much a novice. With MUCH to learn.

I've tried in the past to start my garden plants from seeds, with little success. So instead of trying the tomatoes, and peppers, etc., this year I'm trying to raise my bedding plants - annuals. I spend a ton of money on them every year, and maybe I can save that money doing it myself inside. I did plant some cukes and eggplant, because I had the seeds. But the rest are marigolds, sweet peas, sunflowers, and impatiens. Today I'm going to spend some time transplanting some of the little ones into bigger pots, hoping to get them stronger. We'll see. Only time will tell.

I'm also going to dedicate a few hours this afternoon to beginning my gardening journal, something I've always wanted to do. I will include a timetable for taking care of my perennials and trees, and then notes on my gardens as well. It's a start!

So raising my cup of tea to Melissa the Gardener today. Cheers~

wondering....

I often wonder why I do some things... like write this blog? I guess it's my answer to a journal, when I need to say something. Something I feel is important, even though no one is reading it. So important to me maybe? I guess so.

Or like trying to be a friend. That sentence says SO much. One shouldn't have to TRY to be a FRIEND. And yet I do. I feel compelled to keep working at some friendships, even though so many friends tell me not to.

And tonight I got burned. By people who for the last 8 years have called themselves my friend. I've been continually burned by them, but always "went back". Wondered if I was making more of something, if I was over reacting. But tonight I got my answer.

And it is amazing to me that people can be so blatantly mean to someone. Mean girls - live - and in 40-something adults. How sad. I am so thankful to have a strong circle of Christian women in my life. People who truly live their lives like Christians. It is they I need to lean on. They don't ask questions. They would never hurt me.

While I am very very very sad for what happened tonight - that they could hurt me like they did - I feel free. I don't have to bother trying anymore. I can continue to be friends with people who accept and love me for who I am. Life is too short to waste it on people who don't love you. TOO short.

The Positive Pledge

My neice posted this this morning.... and I love it. Really ties in to my post from the other day. I wonder what the world would be like if we all took this pledge.. I am signing it. It's the only way to live life! Thanks to my amazing neice for brightening my day....

The Positive Pledge
I pledge to be a positive person and positive influence on my family, friends, co-workers and community.
I promise to be positively contagious and share more smiles, laughter, encouragement and joy with those around me.
I vow to stay positive in the face of negativity.
When I am surrounded by pessimism I will choose optimism.
When I feel fear I will choose faith.
When I want to hate I will choose love.
When I want to be bitter I will choose to get better.
When I experience a challenge I will look for opportunity to learn and grow.
When faced with adversity I will find strength.
When I experience a set-back I will be resilient.
When I meet failure I will fail forward towards future success.
With vision, hope, and faith, I will never give up and will always move forward towards my destiny.
I believe my best days are ahead of me, not behind me.
I believe I'm here for a reason and my purpose is greater than my challenges.
I believe that being positive not only makes me better, it makes everyone around me better.
So today and every day I will be positive and strive to make a positive impact on the world.