on raising a woman

I have two children, a beautiful 20 year old daughter and a handsome 15 year old son. I have thought many times about the differences between raising a daughter and a son, but really only looked into how they were different. Not in how our job as parents is different.

It's a little after 8 am on a Wednesday. My husband, on vacation, and son - still on summer break - are both sleeping. So the only sound is the dishwasher running, and there is a cool breeze coming through the window as I sit on the couch, enjoying my coffee and reading my book. Relaxing, yes? Almost sublime? To enjoy the entire essence of the moment, I need to give you a little background.

I got up at 6am, started a batch of bread dough for a meal delivery tonight, loaded the dishwasher and ran it, cleaned out the refrigerator, and emptied the garbages and took them to the curb. All while my lovely boys slept. So while right now I'm enjoying the cool and quiet, it's not the carefree morning it appears to be. And most aren't.

But THAT, my dear friends, is one of the differences between a man and a woman. Women are natural care-givers. We take care of others. More than often, before we take care of ourselves. It's just how we are wired. So we live crazy lives of taking care of husbands and children, with little snipets of calm scattered throughout. I live for these quiet moments, when I can read, or write, enjoy nature and some good coffee. 30 minutes can completely recharge my being. But in between these moments is a chaotic world of taking care of those you love.

And we need to raise our daughters to learn not only how to care for those we love, but to relish in those moments in between. Those times of calm, when we get to sit and enjoy the world around us. Those pauses. Preparing our daughters for the world that awaits is complicated. But if we practice what we preach, taking those moments of quiet for all that they are, they will learn. They will learn...