I love my drives to work in the morning. It always seems like my "thinking" time. This morning, as I passed the cemetary where my mom is buried, I realized that what I thought would never be ok three years ago has become my new normal. When Mom died, I knew life would never be the same - I'd always miss her. I didn't see ever "getting over" her. But I realize now that those changes just move us to the next step in our lives, to our next "normal".
It doesn't matter if it's a move, the loss of someone, a job change, someone else moving. I always feel like my perfect life is being destroyed. I always feel like I love my life, just the way it is, and a change is going to ruin that. But as I get wiser, I see that each change is molding me into a new shape, that new normal.
In the span of less than a year, I lost my mother, left my store, and had my best friend move three hours away. I was pretty sure at the end of that year that it was over. Life as I knew it was done. And in all honesty, it was. Because it has to.
Can you imagine if our lives never changed? If we didn't make new friendships? Didn't try new things? We would not be the amazingly intense, complicated people we are! Each of those changes brings new dimension to our frame of reference, to who we are.
There is no doubt in my mind that I am a better person than who I was before May 9, 2006. I'm not saying that this journey is easy, because it's not. But I'm beginning to appreciate all of my "new normals", and who they are making me into.
1 comment:
I completely relate to this post. Settling into a seemingly impossible new normal. Thanks for sharing!
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