Prayer request

I have been MIA on here for awhile, but there has been so much going on. We've had some crazy ups and downs, and at this point, I just ask that you send up a little prayer. A prayer for understanding, for hope, for the future.

While we've been entertaining friends from out of state for over a week, and having a wonderful time, there have been a couple of bumps in the road, some pretty big ones, that have surfaced. So we simply need some time to pray, and make some life decisions.

So I ask for you to take a moment, if you are so moved, and send up a quick prayer - that we know the direction we are meant to go.

I know everything happens for a reason. Sometimes I just get patient waiting to find out what that reason might be.

25 years? REALLY?

So this weekend is my 25th high school class reunion. That's a big number. Hard to believe it's really been that long. It's our 3rd reunion, and due to some very special company coming from out of town, I will not be able to attend. And as social as I am, that is a sad thing for me. But last night we had a casual get together after the game, and I was able to see a large number of my former classmates, catching up on our lives.

It is so wonderful to be able to reconnect after 5 years, as if really nothing has changed. Social networking has changed "reunions" as they are, because honestly, it is to easy to stay in contact with everyone. But you can't beat being able to sit around, and laugh, and share. And we did a LOT of that last night.

This afternoon, a handful of my closer friends are coming over to enjoy some memories over appetizers and drinks. There will be photo albums, and year books, and a new baby to enjoy! I cannot tell you how much it means to me - to have them come over to visit - being I cannot be there tonight. It will be much more intimate, and I cannot wait to see them all. Among us  - someone I have not seen since we graduated, recently reconnected via facebook. Someone fighting (and winning) stage 4 cancer. New parents, with a beauty of an adopted daughter we all get to meet. And all good friends, who will gather to reconnect and catch up. Recipe for a wonderful afternoon.

As for recipes - I am making a roasted eggplant dip, the rye bread is done, and I'll roast some chickpeas to snack on. We'll open a couple of bottles of wine, and go through some coffee too I'm sure.

Another weekend full of Blessings. Friends are such Blessings.

Putting on a brave face.

Be forewarned. While the vast majority of my posts are very upbeat, this one is not. I try to remain positive in life, but sometimes we all have down nights. And this is my blog, where I have been documenting my journey over the last few years, and tonight, that journey isn't quite so easy. I continue on with my brave face, telling everyone how crazy happy I am - Blessed. (This is the truth - although the last few times I've said it, I've felt a little less than that.)

Over the last month, I've had two very disturbing nightmares. I won't go into details, as this isn't a blog about hidden messages in dreams. But I will say that in both, I woke feeling abandoned, lost, and extremely emotionally exhausted. And I think that they tie into the fact that I'm feeling a bit "in limbo" right now.

Nothing has changed. And maybe that's the issue. I'm still teaching part time, which I love, spending the rest of my days between taking care of my family and at church. Still very Blessed to be able to do this. But I am feeling lately that I'm not contributing. To what? I'm not sure. Maybe to anything. I have a nagging feeling that there is more out there for me, but when I start to dream, and get excited about it, I'm always talked down out of it.

I feel like I have crazy potential. So many ideas, but I just end up staying right where I am. And understand that I am so very happy... most of the time. It's just that right now, I feel like I'm taking the easy way out. That I'm not living up to my potential. That I'm being lazy in doing what I do.

Maybe it's the comment from a family member asking if I'm teaching at all this week - and if not - the "tsk tsk". Maybe it's the fact that bills are still tight after my husband's trip. Maybe it's my 25th class reunion. Or visitors from out of state. Maybe it's a bit of all of the above. But I feel like I'm not contributing - to society - to the family - at all.

and I'm frustrated

I'm frustrated that I have great ideas, but don't seem to have the means, or ability to make any of them come to fruition. Is it me?

The advice I received tonight was "pray on it". And I have been. For almost two years. And I know that God will answer when it is time. And that He will give me the answer I need. But right now, I feel such crazy emotion.... angst almost. And I need to know what direction to go  in.

So I again find myself in prayer. Prayer for direction and guidance. Prayer for the strength to wait until it's time.

Spoiling the masses....

It's not surprising that I love to cook. It is not a secret. And I love cooking for others. It's my gift to share with people.

Today I got to share a LOT. For months, I've known that I was cooking the main component of the meal to feed our football team for their weekly Thursday team meal. My son had requested lasagna. So I was prepared to make that, and garlic bread, for the 50 boys and men.

Yesterday my husband was talking with his cousin who was headed to town from Arkansas. After he got off the phone, he asked if we could do a lunch for him and his mother. Of course - no problem! By the time lunch came today, we had my mother-in-, father-in-law, husband's aunt and uncle, as well as the cousin. So I was making lunch for 7.

Up at 5:45, I finished baking the last four baguettes for the football team right away. Then I jumped into prep for lunch. I roasted a chicken, along with mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn, apple pie, and peach cobbler. Had just enough time to clean up the kitchen before they arrived. And lunch was wonderful.

As soon as they were gone, around 1:30, I headed back into the kitchen to prep three large pans of lasagna and turn the 8 baguettes into garlic bread. At 5:30 pm I was on my way home with empty roasters and pans.

12 hours of cooking and cleaning and serving, makes for a long, but really wonderful day. I love being able to cook for others, if that makes them happy. Love being able to share. But I'll be happy to put my feet up for the rest of the night!

Wonderful youth testimonies in Church! A God moment to start the week!~

Church this morning was such a treat. I look forward to it every week - to recharge my soul, reconnect with my church family - but today was SUCH a treat.

After church, I wandered into the fellowship hall to find 6 of our youth waiting with coffee, treats, and a presentation. They each took time to share in front of the rest of the church members there stories from their time at Camp Luther last summer.

They each told us how long they were there, what they liked, what they learned, etc.

Things they liked the most:

• Making new Christian friends
• Playing games
• Devotions

Things they learned:

• That it's ok to pray all the time, not just in church
• That God loves us no matter what

They told us about learning more about the Bible, about camping in the tents, about things they had to do.

Not only was it wonderful to hear these testimonials about their experiences at camp. But it was wonderful to see young children standing up in front of a mixed audience - some peers, some other children, parents, and other adults - doing it. They did a fantastic job speaking. And that is not an easy thing for anyone, let alone young children (ranging from 3rd grade to 8th grade). And then, to speak on your Faith.... Oh, it was so heart warming to watch. What a wonderful group of children. What an amazing way to start the day.

Our crazy life...still full of Blessings!

We are coming to the end of this crazy week. I taught 3 days, catered 2. The hubby has been having 14 hour days since Tuesday, overnights, coming home only to sleep, shower, eat, and return to work. On top of that add two football games (one 2 hours away), one confirmation class, one Bible study, and one football meal. Yep, it's been that crazy. Today is my last full catering day, my son is off to hang out with friends, then off to a party, and my husband has another long night.

I've been very good about keeping up with the cooking all week, preparing enough for all to have three square meals (including one packed for the hubby). But this morning I opened the fridge and realized we had gone through EVERYTHING. Not a single thing of leftover food in there. And I have to be at the store by 10 for the day's catering.

So I dug out onion, pepper, garlic, and hamburger, and started to whip up a pot of Italian noodles - with white wine, tomatoes... (yes, the house smells amazing). My son got up (shocked to see him this early after the late game last night) and stood in the kitchen chatting, and cooking with me. We talked about the game, about the party today, about the upcoming homecoming... it was absolutely awesome. Just good old-fashioned mom/son time, over the cooking in the kitchen. A true gift, one to ground me today during a crazy, hectic time in life.

So even though he's now off to a friend's house, and my husband is sleeping, leaving just me to sit and ponder over my last cup of coffee before the day, that morning time with stay with me all day, making me so very thankful for the Blessings in my life.

a challenging schedule ahead!

My hubby is heading into 4 back to back 14 hour days at work. Overnights. So I need to have breakfast prepared when he gets home in the morning, something to eat for dinner around 5 before he heads back in, and something for him to take with him for his "lunch" at work. In addition, I am teaching, so I need lunches to take. And this week I provide bread for the football dinner, and next week the main course (lasagna) AND the bread. To say the least, I realized tonight I needed to do some planning to make sure the fridge was full and I have a plan in place!

My first go-to was my freezer, where I had pulled pork, minestrone, and Salisbury meatballs I could pull to use. Then, I started to play around on Pinterest, specifically on my "food to try" board, but was just not inspired by anything. I'm in a mood of trying to use what I have in my pantry, and most of those recipes have all kinds of crazy ingredients...

So I turned to my next source. I posted to all my facebook peeps - for their favs - for the simple ones - with simple ingredients. And my friends came through! I have written menus for the next two weeks, as well as a grocery list, and planned out each day what needs to be done when. I'm confident that I will not only provide for my family, but have fun trying some new recipes, along with some favorites, all on my budget.

To toast being prepared for the crazy weeks ahead, I made a decaf, non-fat, salted caramel mocha latte. (YUMMO). Cheers to an organizing night!