I imagine the reason I have such ups and downs is because of my underlying spirit, and passion for all that is life. The swings are so strong, that they sometimes scare me. I am so passionate about everything I am part of, that when something doesn't go the way I'd like, or howI think it should go, it pulls me into the depths.
I am in the depths. Everything these last two days has gone wrong. And I have such good intentions, yet somehow mess them up. To the point that I just want to shut my door, not answer the phone, not answer email.
I am under a great amount of stress at work right now. Between cutbacks and cost savings and trying to do more with less, I am pulling my hair out. (Ok, it's falling out - but still from that stress.)
My classes, while they are a tremendous amount of work, are going well. Econ is OK. Accounting is going well.
Personally, I'm falling apart. Physically, any progress I'd made toward health is out the door. I've stopped taking time to exercise. I don't eat well. And because of both of those, I am tired, and out of energy. I know the answer is to put myself first. But that is SO hard to do.
I'm not getting the support I need at home. These last two days I've had such hard days, and I really don't get the shoulder I need. It's not his fault. It's who he is. But if I had a little help, I think things would go so much better.
It just seems that so many things are falling apart. And I need to know why. How does my life get to this point? I have nothing to complain about. Not one thing! I am ridiculously Blessed. I know that, and don't want to come across as unthankful. My life is just out of balance right now. And if I don't get it back IN balance, things are going to suffer more than they are now.
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