too long!

Oh, it's been TOO long since I posted. And so much has happened.

Flash back to March 20. DD and I took a road trip to Nebraska - for several things. One, to visit friends, two, for my work, and three, most important of all, a college on-site for my DD, who has started looking at colleges.

MY oh MY. My dd looking at colleges. Quite scary for me. I'm not at all worried about her. She will be fine. But ME on the other hand - oye. I'm scared to death. How will I function without her? The school she is in love with is almost 8 hours from home. That is a LONG way for a Mom who needs to see her children. But I'm happy that she's starting to prepare, and starting to have fun.

It was great fun to see lots of friends, although one was missing. :-(

Fast forward to Friday. I was given a promotion - out of the blue. A very exciting time, as I've been working towards this for years.

Then to last weekend. Girls weekend to see the Titanic exhibit. Too much fun. Great relaxing getaway.

While all of these warrant their own blogs, time is tight. I have 5 days to write one case study, one 12 page paper, and two finals. WHEW> No time to blog! Sorry. Ck back in a couple of weeks~

sounds of spring...

spring has finally arrived here in central wisconsin... yesterday was the first day that it really felt like spring from morning until night. walking out of the house in the morning, i heard the birds! it was the first day i noticed them, and it was a wonderful way to start the day!

after work, i had to run errands for a friend, and it was beautiful out. i had the car windows down to enjoy the fresh air. sitting at a stoplight, i heard the true sound of spring. a sound i could hear approaching from blocks away... the rumble. that beautiful rumble.

four harleys enjoying the first ride.

it's spring!

the relationship with my son...

Yesterday the weather turned beautiful. My son and I had to take our coats off walking home from church, what a nice surprise! I had a lot of homework to do, but I was well rested, and moving mountains. When I finished my paper, which I was proud of, he told me "good job". Understand, he is 11. While he is taller than me, and stronger than me, he is still only 11, my baby. And he was cheering me on. It warmed my heart.

With the paper down, and a quiz, discussion, and homework looming, I dug in. I finished quite early, around 4. So I asked if he wanted to join me for a walk. "Sure". Not much, but it meant he still wanted to spend time with me.

While we walked, he dribbled his basketball (which very seldom leaves his hands when he's out doors), and the two of us passed the ball back and forth, he practicing his quick stops, pivots, etc. Quickly, the first mile was behind us and we were near the highway. I make him hang onto the ball for the short stint on the highway, and as we walked in silence, I heard a chuckle. When I asked what was so funny, he said "you're how old, and your 11 year old son is taller than you". Not sure why that struck him as so funny, but I smacked him on the back side of the head, and we continued. The last mile was again passing, dribbling, etc., general joking.

I just love that we have this kind of relationship. So comfortable. It's good. And for now, it's still mine. And THAT I cherish.

feelin the love.....

I had a last minute NE trip pop up- twofold, to do a college visit for my daughter (ugh), and to do a vendor visit for work. It literally took only minutes for word of my impending travel to reach everyone in NE, and I was flooded with excitement from all of them on being able to catch up. I miss all of them so terribly. They are all so important in my life. And to know that I am important in their lives as well is just one of those "feelin the love" moments. I know why God put them all in my life. ...

I know I say this a lot, but I AM SO BLESSED!

so many Blessings...

My life is in a definite downturn right now. It was such a rough week, and I'm feeling like a person on an island right now. No one here to help. Until two beautiful Blessings today.

This morning, a dear, dear friend at work (actually old enough to be my mother - I went to school with her kids) surprised me. She knows that I've been in a tough place lately. And she also knows just how important my Faith is during these times in my life. Today she surprised me with a small prayer book. One that has meant a lot to her. It made me cry. I look forward to spending some time each morning in devotion in that book. What a Blessing.

Then at lunch, I had an amazing surprise. I received a friend request on facebook of someone I did not know. When I read the message, I found that she was a long, lost friend. And again, I cried. I cried for someone I've been looking for off and on for the last 17 years. The last time I saw her she was holding my brand new baby girl, who turns 17 in June. We lost track after I left Nebraska, and several times I've tried to find her. I learned today that she was looking for me too, and she hunted through all the "melissas" that went to our college to find me. And I couldn't be happier. I've thought about her so many times in the last 17 years. Wondered where she was, what she was up to. And today we got to catch up. And I'll get to see her in a couple of months. Out of nowhere, my dear, dear friend is back in my life. I don't deserve such Blessings. But I'll take them!

the ups and downs...

I imagine the reason I have such ups and downs is because of my underlying spirit, and passion for all that is life. The swings are so strong, that they sometimes scare me. I am so passionate about everything I am part of, that when something doesn't go the way I'd like, or howI think it should go, it pulls me into the depths.

I am in the depths. Everything these last two days has gone wrong. And I have such good intentions, yet somehow mess them up. To the point that I just want to shut my door, not answer the phone, not answer email.

I am under a great amount of stress at work right now. Between cutbacks and cost savings and trying to do more with less, I am pulling my hair out. (Ok, it's falling out - but still from that stress.)

My classes, while they are a tremendous amount of work, are going well. Econ is OK. Accounting is going well.

Personally, I'm falling apart. Physically, any progress I'd made toward health is out the door. I've stopped taking time to exercise. I don't eat well. And because of both of those, I am tired, and out of energy. I know the answer is to put myself first. But that is SO hard to do.

I'm not getting the support I need at home. These last two days I've had such hard days, and I really don't get the shoulder I need. It's not his fault. It's who he is. But if I had a little help, I think things would go so much better.

It just seems that so many things are falling apart. And I need to know why. How does my life get to this point? I have nothing to complain about. Not one thing! I am ridiculously Blessed. I know that, and don't want to come across as unthankful. My life is just out of balance right now. And if I don't get it back IN balance, things are going to suffer more than they are now.

the day long fumble...

It was just was one of those days, where all I seem to do is fumble. I've been struggling with an excrutiating headache in the left side of my head for almost a week now. Could be a loose filling issue, could be a sinus infection. I'm hoping that it will subside without needing to go to the doctor. I try very hard to let my body naturally fight things that invade.

Back to my day. Today was a big day. Press conference big. Literally a press conference. For something I am SO passionately beginning in my home town. I'm on the Buy Local team for my town. We began to create this group back in November, and kicked off the campaign today with a press conference. And it went well until this WOMAN started commenting. She was so NEGATIVE. It frustrated me so. What we are trying to do is all good for our community, yet there she was, trying to twist and turn it around to a negative. While I think people realized what she was doing, it frustrated me. Why did she have the right to ruin our day? It still bothers me, and I hate that I let people control my feelings like that. I know what we do is incredible. It is going to be a wonderful movement in our town, and I am thrilled to be able to be a part of it. That is what I need to concentrate on.

Back at work, I answered one email after lunch, having spent quite a bit of time drafting it to sound right, only to find after hitting "send" that they were already fixing the issue...

I responded to an email with a group, thinking that one of the members was being harsh to another, only to be corrected, that there was genuine reason to be concerned.

I decided it was one of those days just to keep my mouth shut. So I dug in and got lots accomplished. Turned off my email. Turned off the phone (ok, let it go to voicemail).

I hope tomorrow is better!