Remembering my grandparents....for my children.

Tonight during our Bible study, some of the questions led us to discussions of memories we have of our grandparents. There were tears shed, as we remembered, and laughed, and cried. And then I realized that I don't talk about my grandparents to my kids. I'm not sure why, but I don't. They know very little of them, and I think that needs to change.

So here is a letter to my darling children, hopefully the first of many, where I will recount some wonderful memories....

On my father's side, I knew only my grandmother and step-grandfather. My grandfather died before I was born. I don't have many memories of them....as they lived about 3 hours away, and we did not see them often. The visits we did have were brief and formal, often over coffee and Finnish cinnamon toast at their home. I do remember the little coffee nook we would sit in as we visited... I can picture it like it was yesterday.

But my maternal grandparents lived in my home town, and we were extremely close. They were quite old (I was a late child for my mom and dad), and with us being the only family still in town, we spent a lot of time with them.

My mom and I went over to my grandparent's house almost every night either after school for dinner, or after dinner, to play cards. I know for my mom, it was a chance to make sure they were ok, and a chance to give my Grandma some company. Grandpa was a big silent German farmer by that time....

I remember playing cards so vividly. By the time I was 8 or 9, I was the fourth player, learning to play Shmear and Sheepshead simultaneously. Amazingly, we would switch between the two at will, depending on which we wanted to play. I'll never forget learning sheepshead. Grandpa was explaining the game to me, and told me that you have to have an ace to bid. So the next hand, I had 4 aces, so I bid 4. Anyone out there knowing sheepshead knows that an Ace alone does not a hand make.... I didn't make it that round, but Grandpa got a good laugh out of it!

I was very close to my maternal grandparents, spending MUCH of my summers with them when I was young, traveling with them to the land in the country to do the gardening. Grandma and I would make sandwiches (typically egg salad), and Grandpa would load the old car. I wonder what year/make that car was? I'd love to see one again. It was an early 60s model I believe.... The ride to the land was only about 10-15 minutes. It was near the old family farm. Aside from a small wooden shed, and the still functioning well/windmill, it was simply a land plot that we planted as their garden. I learned so much from them, helping create the rows with old wooden stakes and twine, hoeing the row, planting seeds.... and working the land. At lunch time we'd sit in the car with the windows open, using well water from the pump to make koolaid, and enjoying our egg salad sandwiches. Honestly, some of the best memories I have...

There are many, many more memories to be written. And they will be. Fun remembering. But enough for now.

A day off!

I have been MIA! Cannot believe it's been two weeks since my last post. Life has been a bit crazy, but I've really no excuse. I have a couple of blog ideas that are swimming in my crazy brain - but will want pix to go with them, so I will hold off until I can do them well.

It's really feeling like late fall here in Wisconsin. Snow in the north, but none here yet. Cold, rainy, and windy. A typical fall. I headed out this morning to clean up a bit in the gardens, pulling my herb stakes (clay - porous - they have to be pulled or they will crack in our winter), and harvesting the last of the herbs. I was able to snip some oregano, chives, parsley, and sage this morning, so I'll probably do something fun for dinner where I can use them fresh. One last time!

I haven't had a day "off" in awhile. I know what you are thinking - "she works part time!" But rarely do I give myself a true day "off". I always set my alarm, up before six, getting the family started for the day. I decided last night that today would be my day off. I slept in until just before my son headed off to school and my husband was home from work. I'm looking forward to a day of just catching up!

Hoping to get another dehydrator full of apples going, and then I'm off to town to do errands - banking, rental stuff, groceries, etc. I will grab some fun music for the road, and karaoke the entire way there. I'm very much looking forward to a low key day.

I did take time this morning to finish another cowl for my craft sale. The annual sale is less than a month away, which is why I've been MIA. I've been working really hard crocheting cowls, headbands, etc., as well as completing misc. upcycling projects. I've been busy, just not blogging.

I'll work on some of those other ideas. just not today. It's my day off!

My view tonight....and my inspiration!

My "normal" spot in the living room at night is on the couch. So when a dear friend surprised me with flowers this week, they went right next to where I sit, so I can enjoy them every night. Behind them is a picture board with pictures of my mom and dad... from a LONG time ago. Pictures I just love. It's a beautiful thing to sit by! Great inspiration as I sit and blog, or work on my pictures, or write.

I had to do some online training tonight, and as I sat on the couch with my laptop, I looked up to catch the most beautiful pink shining through the window. The sunset tonight was gorgeous. I had enough time to grab my camera and snap a few shots before it changed and clouds took over for the night.... so I think I'll share. enjoy!

Hopefully these can inspire you as well.

paths....

I have always believed that God puts us on the path we are intended for. And He puts people on our paths that we need, either at that time, or in the future, or for life. This past week - ten days - have been filled with some of those people. People that I call Blessings.

For one week, we were host to our "kids" from New Orleans. Talk about God's work! On August 29th, 2005, New Orleans was devastated by Hurricane Katrina and the subsequent floods. Brian, with then girlfriend, decides to relocate to Wisconsin temporarily with her family. While here in WI, he chose a job working for me. Brian was a great kid - and we were so thankful to have him on board. But like most, once the city was back and functioning, Brian returned to his hometown.

Fast forward several years. Thanks to Facebook, we reconnect. A conversation is made about us visiting for Mardi Gras, and a trip is planned. A second trip occurs when Brian marries the love of his life, Katherine (another NOLA native). Finally, after a few years, a trip to WI is planned, bringing them to see us this past week.

As many of my friends know, I call them my "kids" from NOLA. I love them like my own children. And they very much feel like family. That first night they were here - with Katherine, William, and I cooking in the kitchen, and Ken and Brian sharing motorcycle stories in the living room, it felt like they lived here. It was so natural to have them here, to be sharing a meal. And the week that followed, traveling all over Wisconsin, was SO much fun. It was very hard to send them home on Saturday. They are truly such a Blessing in our lives, people I am so thankful to have put in my path!

And only hours after we sent them on their way back to Louisiana, two of my dear friends from Omaha arrived for three days of girl time. Again - THE PATH! How did I find Dana College? A tiny Lutheran college in Blair, NE, found its way into my path back in 1988. Attending that college was absolutely one of the most important events in my life. Through it my family began, my life became filled with amazing friends who I am still close to today. Friends that I see many times a year, no matter how far the distance between us.

So as I sit here this morning, on a cool, rainy October day, I am enjoying my cup of chicory, reflecting on the last 10 days. Such Blessings. Our lives are so rich. I am so very thankful. This crossed my wall on facebook this morning, and it inspired this blog. Remember, through good and bad, everyone in our lives has a purpose. Everyone is God-sent. Today I am reflecting on all the good....

Prayer request

I have been MIA on here for awhile, but there has been so much going on. We've had some crazy ups and downs, and at this point, I just ask that you send up a little prayer. A prayer for understanding, for hope, for the future.

While we've been entertaining friends from out of state for over a week, and having a wonderful time, there have been a couple of bumps in the road, some pretty big ones, that have surfaced. So we simply need some time to pray, and make some life decisions.

So I ask for you to take a moment, if you are so moved, and send up a quick prayer - that we know the direction we are meant to go.

I know everything happens for a reason. Sometimes I just get patient waiting to find out what that reason might be.

25 years? REALLY?

So this weekend is my 25th high school class reunion. That's a big number. Hard to believe it's really been that long. It's our 3rd reunion, and due to some very special company coming from out of town, I will not be able to attend. And as social as I am, that is a sad thing for me. But last night we had a casual get together after the game, and I was able to see a large number of my former classmates, catching up on our lives.

It is so wonderful to be able to reconnect after 5 years, as if really nothing has changed. Social networking has changed "reunions" as they are, because honestly, it is to easy to stay in contact with everyone. But you can't beat being able to sit around, and laugh, and share. And we did a LOT of that last night.

This afternoon, a handful of my closer friends are coming over to enjoy some memories over appetizers and drinks. There will be photo albums, and year books, and a new baby to enjoy! I cannot tell you how much it means to me - to have them come over to visit - being I cannot be there tonight. It will be much more intimate, and I cannot wait to see them all. Among us  - someone I have not seen since we graduated, recently reconnected via facebook. Someone fighting (and winning) stage 4 cancer. New parents, with a beauty of an adopted daughter we all get to meet. And all good friends, who will gather to reconnect and catch up. Recipe for a wonderful afternoon.

As for recipes - I am making a roasted eggplant dip, the rye bread is done, and I'll roast some chickpeas to snack on. We'll open a couple of bottles of wine, and go through some coffee too I'm sure.

Another weekend full of Blessings. Friends are such Blessings.

Putting on a brave face.

Be forewarned. While the vast majority of my posts are very upbeat, this one is not. I try to remain positive in life, but sometimes we all have down nights. And this is my blog, where I have been documenting my journey over the last few years, and tonight, that journey isn't quite so easy. I continue on with my brave face, telling everyone how crazy happy I am - Blessed. (This is the truth - although the last few times I've said it, I've felt a little less than that.)

Over the last month, I've had two very disturbing nightmares. I won't go into details, as this isn't a blog about hidden messages in dreams. But I will say that in both, I woke feeling abandoned, lost, and extremely emotionally exhausted. And I think that they tie into the fact that I'm feeling a bit "in limbo" right now.

Nothing has changed. And maybe that's the issue. I'm still teaching part time, which I love, spending the rest of my days between taking care of my family and at church. Still very Blessed to be able to do this. But I am feeling lately that I'm not contributing. To what? I'm not sure. Maybe to anything. I have a nagging feeling that there is more out there for me, but when I start to dream, and get excited about it, I'm always talked down out of it.

I feel like I have crazy potential. So many ideas, but I just end up staying right where I am. And understand that I am so very happy... most of the time. It's just that right now, I feel like I'm taking the easy way out. That I'm not living up to my potential. That I'm being lazy in doing what I do.

Maybe it's the comment from a family member asking if I'm teaching at all this week - and if not - the "tsk tsk". Maybe it's the fact that bills are still tight after my husband's trip. Maybe it's my 25th class reunion. Or visitors from out of state. Maybe it's a bit of all of the above. But I feel like I'm not contributing - to society - to the family - at all.

and I'm frustrated

I'm frustrated that I have great ideas, but don't seem to have the means, or ability to make any of them come to fruition. Is it me?

The advice I received tonight was "pray on it". And I have been. For almost two years. And I know that God will answer when it is time. And that He will give me the answer I need. But right now, I feel such crazy emotion.... angst almost. And I need to know what direction to go  in.

So I again find myself in prayer. Prayer for direction and guidance. Prayer for the strength to wait until it's time.