So long....

It has been SO long. I'm sure some of my faithful readers have given up on me...

Life has become this ridiculously hectic whirlwind that flies by. I don't seem to even have time to breathe. I'm working long hours at work, long hours at home, and seemingly behind on everything. So unfortunately my passion for writing has taken a back seat....

I have had an AHA moment in the last two weeks. I've been SO busy - at work, and at church, and was starting to fall behind. I was getting frustrated, and stressed out, and to that point where I want to just start over. I hate it when I get to that point, but I run on overdrive 90% of of the time, and when I crash, I crash hard. I spent days crying, and sleeping. I was done.

One day at work, I started noticing attitudes on people. Five people in particular. They seemed to be picking apart everything done by anyone - in not only my department, but in others as well. They seemed to be fishing to find a way to point fingers for things not done well.

I don't like being wrong. But when I am, I accept it. If someone in my department messes up, we move on. These five people seem to be trying to find ways to make others look bad. And I knew I'd be a candidate because I was starting to get frantic, getting things done JUST in the nick of time.

On the way home from work that night, I cried. Not unusual at this time. It's how my stress manifests itself. But as I'm crying, I start to get angry. Why should ANY stress get that bad? Why should anyone else be able to make me cry?

Then I remembered back to college - had just broken up with a "boyfriend" if you can call him that. It was interim, and I was in a music class with a bunch of his football buddies. So I made it a point to be looking awesome EVERY day. I wanted him to know that I was just fine. And it worked. I didn't allow the frustration of the situtation to get the best of me.

So I decided that this "killing them with kindness" kind of revenge is the ticket. I stayed late, stayed focused, rallied my department, and have decided that no one will be able to say we're not doing our best. If they find something wrong, we'll already have investigated it and know what happened, and what needs to be done going forward.

And the same with church. I have a big job there - and the woman who gave it up would like nothing more than for me to fail. I'm not going to give her the satisfaction. I'm going to work my butt off proving EVERYONE wrong.