White Christmas....

As I sit here in the living room, the fireplace is blazing, a hot Tom and Jerry is on my table, and White Christmas is on t.v. The perfect Saturday night. I have the living room to myself, and with my favorite holiday drink, and my all time favorite holiday movie, I'm ready to begin celebrating the reason for the season.

There are so many things that I love about the holidays... cards with pictures and letters, shopping for the perfect gift for a loved one, the snow, the lights, everything. It just seems like at this time of year everyone puts things in perspective. At least those in my circle. We really do take time to be with family, reconnect with friends. Put a smiling face forward. Help others. Remember those in need.

I'm going to turn off the computer, put my feet up, and relax in the warmth of the fireplace to watch my White Christmas. And hopefully to think about all we are Blessed with. And to pray for those who are in need. To keep Christ in Christmas...

another game...

Allie had a basketball tournament this weekend, and again had great games - this time just on jv. At the end of the tourney, she was chosen as one of the all tournament team, which was a great honor, something that will be listed in the brochure every year forward. We're very proud of her!

so proud!

Friday night was my daughter's debut on the Varsity basketball team. She plays both JV and Varsity this year - playing two quarters in JV and then sitting the bench in Varsity.

We traveled over an hour to watch Friday's game - in a small town called Athens. Allie had a great JV game - very solid. Rebounds, steals, points. It was a good game for her, and they killed the Athens team. Great victory.

Then it was time for the Varsity game. The team came out to their song, running their opening formation in workout suits. I had tears in my eyes seeing Allie out there. We've been watching her play basketball for over 6 years, all leading up to this point. It was awesome to see.

As we figured, she didn't play. But we know that. She didn't even take off her warm up jacket. Until there was just under 3 minutes left in the game. We were up by over 20 points, and Allie and Brittany (the other bencher) were put in! I was so excited for her! It didn't take long for her to rack up a rebound - her first official stat as a varsity player! My pride in her was growing!

THEN...

The ball got passed to her, and she was wide open - so she shot, and SUNK a 3-point swish! It was awesome! All of the parents on our side knew it was her first varsity game, so the sidelines erupted. Parents giving her whoots and claps. After the game another mother came over to congratulate her.

I am ridiculously proud of her. To be able to keep her wits about her in her first game, enough to not be afraid to jump for the rebound, or try the shot. She's not a normally strong 3pt shooter, but that didn't stop her from trying.

It was an amazing night - one with many points of tear filled eyes for me. She's growing up so quickly, it's the moments like this I'll cherish forever.

a weekend of renewal...

Last weekend was our fall scrapbooking getaway. Eight of us rent a house up north, on a lake, where we laugh, confide, scrapbook, and renew. It's a great time of year to do it - just before the holiday rush - cold outside (so why not stay inside). The mix of people changes a bit every year. But it's always a great weekend.

I know that these little getaways are very important to me. I run full throttle 24/7. That's who I am. But I also take times like these to just breathe. And it is SO refreshing. I come back with a fresh outlook - new energy - ready to tackle the next four months of holidays.

This is why we HAVE girlfriends. THIS - - -is how we survive...

I'm IN!

This morning I received an email welcoming me to the MBA program at Lakeland College. I'm in. I sign up for my first class on December first, with classes beginning in January. I'm scared, I'm excited, and I'm wound tighter than a top...

I've been toying with this for 16 years. It's expensive, but I feel it's an investment in me. I'm what they call a "lifetime learner" and I can't express just how excited I am right now.

the finale

This weekend, my siblings and I cleaned out my parents home, dividing up items, taking truckloads to Goodwill, and cleaning. I did surprisingly well, not breaking down until early Sunday morning. I'll start at the beginning.

When my mother died, our family split. There were a lot of reasons - a cookbook that was taken, lies, jealousy. Three and three.

There have been downright nasty phone calls and letters. Many not speaking at all for the last 2 years. So I wasn't looking forward to Saturday at all. I prayed late Friday night for a good day Saturday. I wanted us to spend the day reminiscing and laughing. In my heart, I knew that was a slim possibility, but I was determined to try to guide it that way.

When one showed up, someone I've not spoken to since the funeral in 2006, I made a point of saying good morning. So did the others. I think that he realized our intent - not to continue this horrific feud, but to put it all behind us. When 8 came around, the time to start, one was no where to be found. So we started without him. He sauntered in at 8:30 and walked over to an antique table he helped our parents redo and said "I want this". When it was explained that we were each buying the large things, to go into the estate money (later divided), he informed us that he wouldn't be buying ANYTHING. So he didn't get it. And it ticked him off. The rest of us had a blast - over bidding each other, letting each other have things we knew were important, etc.

Everyone started to loosen up a bit when we got to the tables of stuff - that we took turns choosing. And honestly, in the end, everyone got lots of things they wanted to remember our folks by. Probably TOO much. 4 truckloads went to donations - and there is more to go. And we were able to (after all loosened up) to have a good day after all.

Saturday when I returned home, there was a "get well box" on my step from a dear, dear friend. I have a bad cold, and she sent me tissues, chicken soup, orange juice, some cocoa, 7up, and two little bottles of whiskey. In talking to her, she had intended brandy - for an old fashioned - but could only find the little whiskey. My mom's drink was a whiskey sour, something I've never tried. So I had one in her memory on Saturday night. Cheers!

Sunday was my mom's birthday. I was awake at 5 am, so I got up and started sorting through the boxes of things I'd gotten - trying to find places for things. I love having her dishes in my cupboard. I love seeing things that are from my childhood home in my own home. In the bottom of one of my boxes were things my eldest sister had deemed mine. Pictures, etc., that meant only to me. I found a book I'd given mom exactly 20 years ago on her birthday. I found a book I'd ask her to fill out with memories of her childhood. I found family tree papers from years ago. It was awesome. Then, I cried. It was time.

the election...

I am not an outwardly political person. I have my views, which don't stray much, but I don't often discuss them. I'll discuss the state of the world, but very seldom speak of my own political views. I am Republican. Conservative, Lutheran, small town mid-America Republican. Have been my whole life.

There were two big decisions happening in my realm last night. One being the president, another a school referendum in our district.

I voted for John McCain. But I'm ok with Barack Obama being president. And that is not something I've said in past democratic victories. I remember 1992 watching elections with a girlfriend in Omaha. Talking to ourselves that the US would not be stupid enough to elect Bill Clinton. We were smarter than that, right? Yeah. I was wrong. Then, I was worried. I worried about what would happen. And look what did!

But I truly think that President - Elect Obama will do a fine job. I have respect for him. I think he will be fine. This country needs a change, and I sincerely hope that our government can do something.

On the second matte, we had a referendum. First time ever that our school district has had to ask for more money just to pay the bills. Things up to be cut directly affect my children - Jr. High sports, drama, pep band, FFA. Again, I'm not vocal about my support. That's just not my style. But I was very in support of it. How can we not invest in our children? My husband didn't agree. I know for a fact he voted against it.

Last night the first return we saw was a draw - 57 for, 56 against. And I became angry. I for the first time started worrying that the referendum would not pass. And my husband voted against it. I don't think he felt it would affect us. A no vote would mean no jr high sports for our son, no drama for our daughter. No pep band for either. I should have spoken up sooner. But I have a hard time showing that passion.

Luckily - the referendum passed, and all is ok. And I think in the end, DH realized the need to really think about issues like this.

Finding missy....

I can't believe how bad I've been at keeping up this blog. It's not that my life is so busy, it's that I've had it out of my sight, and thus, out of mind.

I am in a place right now - or should I say in between? I'm trying to find my new identity. I no longer am the martyr child taking every lunch to dote on father. I have this strange "un presence" in my life. An hour in the middle of the day with no committments. I'm a drifter, a wanderer. Homeless for that one hour.

I've decided NOT to buy my parents home. I had plans on doing that - which would have given me something to do at noon. But I need to NOT be pulled in a million directions. I need to be ME. Wife, Mother, Homemaker, Manager, ME>

Let's take a look at this week so far. Yesterday at noon I went to the MALL. I can't tell you the last time I went to the MALL. I went to a store that is closing and got some clothes for my son. It was so FUN!

Today I went downtown. Window shopped - finding a brand new party supply store (a great find!). Then I made an appointment for a hair cut/color at the new day spa (something I've been meaning to do since they opened), and then I went to the coffee shop, where I had yummy minestrone for lunch and read my book.

I have to say that I am torn about this new lack of identity. It's only an hour a day. But it's already seeming strange to me. We'll see where it goes. I've written for information on an MBA program through the local college - figuring I can get that on my plate too.

It's a rite of passage I presume, having put dad into the home, I all of a sudden don't have the daily worry. Weird. New. Transitionary. We'll see!