2011 was a crazy year. On October 20th, 2011, I left a job in management that I'd had for almost 19 years. The job had turned into something that didn't fit me anymore, and it was time to move on. I had not been unemployed since 1987 (high school!), and it was a very wierd feeling to simply wake up and stay home.
I am Blessed to have an amazingly supportive husband who is supporting me through this "breathing" stage. Some say mid-life. Some say "retirement". For me, it's just a change of direction. Something I never would have expected of myself.
I was "a lifer" at work. Someone who was completely invested in the company, and who would continue to climb the corporate ladder right up to retirement. It had been my first job after college, and if I'd retired there, would have put in over 40 years.
While it was sad to leave my friends, and scary to leave a place I'd gone to for 19 years, I'm finding that not knowing is not so bad. I'm still working on a plan for the future. I spent the last two months of 2011 enjoying my family, my home, and the holidays. Now it's time to dig back in.
I don't see myself going back to corporate life. It's just not important to me anymore. I cherish my home, my gardens, being domestic, and taking care of my family. Some would say I'm wasting my talents, degree, and experience. I say I've just wised enough to begin to really enjoy who I am.
I have applied for a sub teaching license, hoping to use that to fill in until I find what I want to do. If that fills my void, becomes enough, then fantastic. If not, I'll keep looking. I'd love to stay part time, rather than go full time. We'll see how that goes.
I am so lucky to be able to do this with my life.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
emotions...
Today I had a meeting - a kick off to the CMN campaign. I go every year, inspired by the amazing stories of the children and their families. And today was no different. I realized how Blessed I am to have a healthy family, a reminder to take nothing for granted.
Today at the kickoff, there was a woman who looked so much like my mom did. And it's been eating at me all night. I miss her so dearly. I'm still sad at all in my life she's not here to share. The good and the bad. I miss sharing lunch with her, keeping her up to date on work, and the kids. I miss being able to tell her exciting news.
I so hope mom is proud of me. I try very hard to live up to who she was. I am trying to raise my children like she raised me. I'm trying mom.
Had some tough life lessons cross our paths these last two days - and dd told me thanks for being the mom that I am. I answered her this: "I was raised to be caring, loving, tolerant, and non-judging, and I hope I'm raising them the same way".
I truly was raised that way. My mom never judged - not on religion, color, social status, nothing. She accepted me no matter what path I took, supporting me in my screw ups, and applauding my successes. It's THAT that I miss of her. I love you mom!
Today at the kickoff, there was a woman who looked so much like my mom did. And it's been eating at me all night. I miss her so dearly. I'm still sad at all in my life she's not here to share. The good and the bad. I miss sharing lunch with her, keeping her up to date on work, and the kids. I miss being able to tell her exciting news.
I so hope mom is proud of me. I try very hard to live up to who she was. I am trying to raise my children like she raised me. I'm trying mom.
Had some tough life lessons cross our paths these last two days - and dd told me thanks for being the mom that I am. I answered her this: "I was raised to be caring, loving, tolerant, and non-judging, and I hope I'm raising them the same way".
I truly was raised that way. My mom never judged - not on religion, color, social status, nothing. She accepted me no matter what path I took, supporting me in my screw ups, and applauding my successes. It's THAT that I miss of her. I love you mom!
Monday, February 7, 2011
my apologies...
Cannot believe it's been so long. Today is Feb 7, 2011. I find myself happy to have the holidays over, celebrating the Packers superbowl win, and dealing with stress issues in my personal life and work as well.
I am focusing right now on surrounding myself with positive people, and using my days to do those things that FULFILL my life.
I am working on leaving a lasting impact. ON THE WORLD. Through being a positive influence, through leading by example, through being something to someone. There are so many people in this world who are in need, hurting, confused, lost, or just misguided. How can I make a difference to them?
I am focusing right now on surrounding myself with positive people, and using my days to do those things that FULFILL my life.
I am working on leaving a lasting impact. ON THE WORLD. Through being a positive influence, through leading by example, through being something to someone. There are so many people in this world who are in need, hurting, confused, lost, or just misguided. How can I make a difference to them?
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
the final tradition
Today is my daughter's last day of school. Since they were able to drive, they've all gotten up early on this day (5am early) to drive 35 miles to go to Ihop for breakfast before school. Today was no different. So on today, this last day of school, I took a picture, in the same spot I always took the first day of school picture, to always remember this day. And then, as the girls poured their coffees, and headed out to the day, I kept snapping.
I love the friends that she has made over the years. And I love that they made traditions like this to remember forever. I am going to miss those kids, and those traditions, but can't wait to hear about the new friends, and the new traditions, as she heads off to college.
The sun is now up, already 5:30. Coffee in hand, listening to the birds. It's a good day.
I love the friends that she has made over the years. And I love that they made traditions like this to remember forever. I am going to miss those kids, and those traditions, but can't wait to hear about the new friends, and the new traditions, as she heads off to college.
The sun is now up, already 5:30. Coffee in hand, listening to the birds. It's a good day.
a special bond
There are so many emotions running through me as I prepare for my daughter's graduation. We've come so far. She's come so far. Last night I was scanning photos for a slide show, and came across a photo of my mom holding her on her first birthday. The most bittersweet of emotions overcame me. Joy at seeing that amazing photo, but incredible sadness that mom won't be here to see her graduate. They were so close.
When I told my mom that I was pregnant, still a senior in college, planning on raising the baby on my own, she told me to come home. They had an amazing bond, and it's so sad to me that she can't be here to share in this time. I know she's watching from above...just wish she was here.
When I told my mom that I was pregnant, still a senior in college, planning on raising the baby on my own, she told me to come home. They had an amazing bond, and it's so sad to me that she can't be here to share in this time. I know she's watching from above...just wish she was here.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day Mom!
It was four years ago today that I had to say goodbye to my mom. It's so hard to believe that it has been that long. I've been thinking lately about all of the things that she taught me, from how to do laundry, to how to plant a seed in the garden, to how to have patience with my own children.
I'm very sad that I only had my mom for 36 years. Not a day goes by when I don't have something I want to ask her, or something I want to share with her. But I also know that in those 36 years, she taught me how to be a good person. How to be a mom. And a wife. And a friend.
I don't know if she knew it or not, but through how she lived her life, she led me to who I am today. Little things, like always, always, always giving all she could - if it was money to a cause, or baked goods to an event, mom always gave. She always put herself last, others first.
Happy Mother's Day mom. I miss you so much. Above all, I just want you to know I'm trying - to make you proud. To be that person you were trying to mold me into. I love you!
I'm very sad that I only had my mom for 36 years. Not a day goes by when I don't have something I want to ask her, or something I want to share with her. But I also know that in those 36 years, she taught me how to be a good person. How to be a mom. And a wife. And a friend.
I don't know if she knew it or not, but through how she lived her life, she led me to who I am today. Little things, like always, always, always giving all she could - if it was money to a cause, or baked goods to an event, mom always gave. She always put herself last, others first.
Happy Mother's Day mom. I miss you so much. Above all, I just want you to know I'm trying - to make you proud. To be that person you were trying to mold me into. I love you!
Friday, March 26, 2010
on turning forty...
29 days
29 days left in my thirties
29 days before I become a “forty-something”
As I’m sure most of my friends can attest, 40 really isn’t that much different than say…30. Or for some maybe even the mid-late 20s. Once we started having children, getting married, buying houses, our lives just sort of jumped into “being an adult”, with adult decisions, responsibilities, joys, and of course heartaches. Maybe life should be defined by eras, rather than ages: the baby era, the toddler era, the school era, and the adult era.
There’s going to be a big party. I’m not one to hide the fact that I’m turning 40, rather I’m going to celebrate it! With lots of close friends. With the people that have been with me in this “adult era”, to enjoy the ups, and calm me in the downs. Of course my daily commutes to work have given me time for the proverbial “taking stock” of my life, of these first forty years. Personally it seems very strange to think that I’ve been around for 40 years. When you think about it, that’s a really long time!
I’ve done so much, have been so Blessed – to enjoy music, and theatre, both in the audience, and on stage, to travel the world, and meet amazing people. I’ve always been surrounded by wonderful people, many of whom I am still in touch with. I’ve been Blessed with a great education, and a wonderful job, opportunities to serve others, and an amazing church family. A healthy family, a good home, and great happiness. A husband and children that I adore with all my heart.
I have found so many ways to enjoy my life – through travel with my family, watching my kids growing up, spending time in my garden, riding my motorcycle, making the most of our family memories. I’ve learned to focus on those things most important to me – faith, family, friends, charity.
The last forty years have been bumpy, to say the least. And definitely not without heartache. Losing my mom was by far the most difficult time of my entire life. And while I know that everything has a reason, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish she was here with me again. But I’ve also come to realize that each of those difficult times, be it hard times growing up, or losing my mom, was in itself a lesson. While I felt that each of my challenges broke me into a million pieces, I also know that in the end, what I was when those pieces were put back together was even better, even stronger.
That being said, I’m really looking forward to the next forty years, and all of the Blessings, and Joy, and Heartache they too will bring.
29 days left in my thirties
29 days before I become a “forty-something”
As I’m sure most of my friends can attest, 40 really isn’t that much different than say…30. Or for some maybe even the mid-late 20s. Once we started having children, getting married, buying houses, our lives just sort of jumped into “being an adult”, with adult decisions, responsibilities, joys, and of course heartaches. Maybe life should be defined by eras, rather than ages: the baby era, the toddler era, the school era, and the adult era.
There’s going to be a big party. I’m not one to hide the fact that I’m turning 40, rather I’m going to celebrate it! With lots of close friends. With the people that have been with me in this “adult era”, to enjoy the ups, and calm me in the downs. Of course my daily commutes to work have given me time for the proverbial “taking stock” of my life, of these first forty years. Personally it seems very strange to think that I’ve been around for 40 years. When you think about it, that’s a really long time!
I’ve done so much, have been so Blessed – to enjoy music, and theatre, both in the audience, and on stage, to travel the world, and meet amazing people. I’ve always been surrounded by wonderful people, many of whom I am still in touch with. I’ve been Blessed with a great education, and a wonderful job, opportunities to serve others, and an amazing church family. A healthy family, a good home, and great happiness. A husband and children that I adore with all my heart.
I have found so many ways to enjoy my life – through travel with my family, watching my kids growing up, spending time in my garden, riding my motorcycle, making the most of our family memories. I’ve learned to focus on those things most important to me – faith, family, friends, charity.
The last forty years have been bumpy, to say the least. And definitely not without heartache. Losing my mom was by far the most difficult time of my entire life. And while I know that everything has a reason, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish she was here with me again. But I’ve also come to realize that each of those difficult times, be it hard times growing up, or losing my mom, was in itself a lesson. While I felt that each of my challenges broke me into a million pieces, I also know that in the end, what I was when those pieces were put back together was even better, even stronger.
That being said, I’m really looking forward to the next forty years, and all of the Blessings, and Joy, and Heartache they too will bring.
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