seventeen years ago today....

My firstborn is 17 years old today. It is unfathomable to me. I know that's a cliche. But it really is so true. I feel like life is flying by, like just weeks ago, she was making a commercial in the big box in the living room, while doing a Martha Stewart show. I have a year before she leaves for college. A year of weekends. A year of mornings. A year of movie nights. A year of watching her from the bleachers. It's SO hard to grasp.

I hope that she has a good day. She's been not so happy these last few days- not sure why, as she evades the question. I'm sure her best friend graduating is a part of it. As is summer. She's very social. She misses her friends in the summer, misses seeing them every day.

But she has a busy summer planned - basketball league, volleyball league, volleyball camp, several mini vacas with us. It will be a fun summer, no doubt. The beginning of her transformation to adulthood. She commented the other day that she can now see rated R movies. It's those little things. She's making her own choices. And she's making good ones. I'm SO proud of the decisions she's made.

Enough rambling. Time to concentrate. Celebrating A will come tonight....

begin life crisis

I wouldn't say I'm having a mid-life crisis. But I do think I'm having a begin-life crisis. Meaning I'm beginning to live life. I am devoted to my gardens. I am devoted to work. I am devoted to my Bible study. And last week, I finally bought my first Harley. Ok, it's a Buell, but still a Harley.
Many people hit "mid life" and buy a sports car, or something crazy. I don't want to think of myself as "mid life". I'm really not that old. This motorcycle is a beginning. Something for me. For who I am. It's my "begin-life crisis".

central wisconsin spring

Driving home last week, after three days of long rains, I noticed the corn.

There are a LOT of corn fields here. A lot. And every spring, the fields are worked up, planted, and watched, to see if the corn will be "knee-high by the 4th", meaning the 4th of July. There is something beautiful about the symmetry of planted corn fields, and on this particular day, it was the first day I noticed the corn coming up. Beautiful rows...acres of it... about two inches high. Spring has arrived.

It's been a cool spring so far. We turn our furnace off completely, so cool springs are very evident at our house. We freeze. There are nights I have to cover my head because my nose gets cold. On the really bad nights, we light a fire in the fireplace, which is all we need. But those in between nights get mighty cold....

My garden is up and doing well. Every night I hoe one quarter. It's a round garden, but vegetables, mixed with flowers. The lettuce, spinach, onions, peas, beans, tomatoes, and peppers are all doing well. I should be eating fresh lettuce salads within a week. It's beautiful to look at. I have worked very hard this spring on my flower beds, garden, herbs, raspberries, and grapes. They look better than ever. I hope that I can maintain it. It's the first year I"ve not had to take care of my dad, so I think that my time will be more for my yard work. I hope so. There is nothing more satisfying.

Well, enough rambling on the spring. The lilacs, tulips, and other spring flowers are done, it's time to watch the Iris's (the flower that reminds me of mom).

the season begins...

Camping season is upon us. Probably my favorite part of summer, after riding the Harley. We don't always go far - we are Blessed to have two GREAT campgrounds within 15 minutes of our home - but it's camping none the less.

I love having nothing more to do than exist. Cook for the troops. Read my book. Sit by the campfire. Go for walks.

There is just nothing better than sitting by the fire after the sun goes down, and the chill hits the air. Moving closer and closer to stay warm, watching the flames, listening to nothing.

But my FAVORITE part of camping is early morning. I'm an early riser. Always the first one up. I get up, dew still on the grass, sun just coming up, and start the fire. It's SO quiet in the mornings. just the lapping of waves, the sounds of the woods. I put the water on the fire for my coffee, and read the book while the sun comes up. I see fish jumping, cranes and ducks flying in. It's one of those God moments, when you realize that God created all of this amazing world we live in.

life partners

This last weekend, our best friends were up for a visit. The guys took the boys out bumming - disc golf, bowling, the Trek movie, while the girls shopped and scrapbooked. I'm in a pickle with scrapbooking - needing to finish up existing albums because of a page resizing. So I decided it was a weekend to do my wedding album, something I've put off for years. I had the album, just needed to dig it out.

I haven't looked at those snapshots in years. What an amazing weekend reliving that wonderful time in my life. Seeing pictures of all the family and friends that came to wish us well, some of whom are no longer with us. Remembering the crazy stories from the four days of excitement, being surrounded by all that love us.

But most of all, it brought to my mind just how amazing my husband is. While he has his quirks, and life is sometimes far from rosy, I really am amazingly Blessed to have him as my life partner. I really feel I love him more every single year we are together. Life is an adventure with him. He's such a GOOD PERSON. A Christian, a great dad, a good son, and most of all, the most amazing life partner anyone could ask for. I so look forward to whatever our future holds, our life adventure that awaits.

just call me toad...

a woman very dear to my heart is losing her battle with cancer. a second round battle - the first won 11 years ago. but this one is beating her. and it is killing me, and so many others, to watch her give her all to something that in the end will simply consumer her, her energy, and her body.

this woman is one of those spirits that touches so many in her walk through life. her life has been hard from day one. but no matter what happens, what twists she's been through, she comes out of it. and honestly, we all figured that she would do the same with this. it's been a long couple of years, but death was really never an option to most of us. she's tough. she wins. she beats cancer.

a few months ago, i was doing something for her, and she answered with "thanks toad". i had no idea why she called me toad - yet she insisted it was a compliment. i've been toad ever since. and now, with this final diagnosis, i want to be toad forever, because through that, she will always be with me.

an approaching birthday...

So many things run through my head at this time of year. What did I DO this last year - what did I accomplish?

A year ago, I was still taking care of my dad, his house, etc. So I am in a very different place right now. He's very successfully transitioned to the VA home, evidenced in a great visit we had yesterday. We sold my childhood home, which was extremely difficult, as well as dividing everything up among the children. I have to say I've got a few great pieces, not worth anything, but full of memories, now in my home. I love that. VERY much.

I've started my MBA. Got A's in both classes my first term, and am now signing up for another. I'm really enjoying the process! Taking two classes the first term was a bit much. I want to enjoy this, not stress myself about it. I've learned that lesson.

My promotion at work has brought additional responsibilities, which I thrive on. I've found I come in a little earlier, work a little harder. Being recognized for hard work is an amazing payoff.

I am graduating on Wed from Leadership Marshfield. As part of that, I am the VP of Buy Local Marshfield, an amazing movement to improve Marshfield's existence. Our website launched successfully on Friday, a good good thing!

I'm still very busy with fundraising and volunteering, thanks to an amazing company I work for that backs the work. I really am BLessed that way.

I am attending a Bible study, to strengthen my Faith, and spend time on it. Probably the most important change of my year. It's been ages since I committed to it, and it's the highlight of my week.

I guess the one place I'm NOT succeeding is taking care of myself. That really needs to be in the forefront of my thoughts this next year. I'm surrounded by amazing friends and family, Blessings overflowing. Maybe my highlight this year should just be to acknowledge all Blessings and be thankful!