#thebigmove2018

After 23 years in our home, my husband and I are MOVING!

Call it a mid-life crisis if you will (it so is!), but with a new job last fall, a newly empty nest, and now moving, we are ALL upside down!

It is a crazy, emotional, exciting, and scary time. So many changes, so much to do. And so much to look forward to!

The decision to move is not a new one, but it is happening much quicker than we anticipated. But when you find THE ONE, you move on it. And into it. It is becoming a kind of romanticized vision in my head. I look at the pictures, imagine our next stage of life there. I see our family gathering there. I see us entertaining friends. I simply cannot wait.

And then I come back to reality, and the task in front of us. Gardens to be cleaned up and mulched, minor house repairs needed, and of course sorting, purging, and packing 23 years of STUFF. So I am sure there will be many, many more posts as we head into this process. Any suggestions? Happy to listen!!!

So we are in the "use it so we don't have to move it" mode. I am cooking from the pantry and freezer (my own version of Chopped!), and even enjoying different cocktails as we use up odds and ends from the liquor cabinet. Tonight I made my signature King Cake Mule, using up the last of my King Cake Vodka (a good reason to go back to NOLA!)

So here it is on this Friday night - my Cheers to #thebigmove2018

WISH ME LUCK!

the sounds of giving....and of JOY

I work in a volunteer services office. I literally work with 500 people who WANT to be there. Who LOVE what they do, and do so simply TO GIVE BACK. That, in itself, is amazing.

So many days, I am just amazed at the amount of giving this group of people do. They don't think twice about helping. They pick up extra shifts, extra hours. And many give outside of the hospital too. It's just who they are.

So to say the atmosphere in my office is awesome, is somewhat of an understatement. Oh, we have our days, but the bottom line is this - the people I am surrounded by 8 hours a day want nothing more than to give back, and to make the world a better place.

You get it, right?

So this afternoon my boss was gone. It's volunteer appreciation month, and we have treats all month long in the office as a thank you. This afternoon the office was like grand central station.

I had three teens in doing extra hours for us, working to improve one of our service areas. They sat in the back work room sorting magazines, chatting, laughing, and working.

As the afternoon shifts arrived, there was much camaraderie outside my office as they tried cookies (fresh baked - still warm!), and chatted.

I had several parents bring in paperwork, a couple of volunteers dropping off logs, and a child life staff member come in to discuss a new project. It was constant chatter, and people in and out, and all of it filled with excitement, and joy!

As I sat there listening to the hustle and bustle of the office, and the honest-to-goodness JOY coming from these people I am surrounded by, I was taken aback by how unbelievably Blessed I am to be in this stage of my life.

just a number?

One of my favorite parts of the new year is filling out my planner. I am an old-school paper and pen planner. And I love taking time to fill it out each January, putting in vacations, birthdays, holidays, etc. There is something deeply satisfying about laying out your year in advance. This from the woman who plans weekly menus, schedules housekeeping by evening, etc. I am kind of a planner.

So early in January on a quiet Sunday afternoon, I sat down with my planner.

But when I got to a certain day, I stopped.

I guess I wasn't ready. Or in my head, I wasn't there. But there it lay in front of me. Like a flashing
caution light.

Yep. That's me.

This year I turn 48 years old. When I wrote that down, I missed a breath. Honestly. It took me by surprise. I know that sounds like a cliché. But it literally made me miss a breath.

I just don't see my self as 48 years old. In that moment, I felt so old. 48 felt old. I started to think about how much of my life might be left. I thought about all that I still want to do. Had I wasted my life? How was it I was almost a half century old? I started to think about where I was at in life, my family, our home, our kids. I was having a very hard time getting my head around that NUMBER.

And of course it is JUST a number. Some people are old 48, some are young. I am not sure where I fall. I would hope on the young side. I tried letting my hair go gray a year ago, but couldn't do it. I enjoy hanging with my kids, I love hiking and traveling.

But my husband and I also love just staying home. We do early Friday night fish fry dinners with old fashions and  friends. We play cribbage.

So am I a young 48? Or OLD?

I guess seeing that number triggered some "mid life crisis" mentality in me. As I went through the week, and the week that followed, I found myself thinking about that number. Rationalizing. 47 doesn't sound so bad, so why is 48? I have never been bothered by birthdays. Not 30, not 40, not even 45. But for whatever reason, THIS one is getting to me.

It doesn't seem that long ago that I was the 25 year old blushing bride. And now my daughter is almost 26 and thinking about a wedding. It seems like I was just at my ten year high school reunion, and here we are planning our thirtieth...

So I am learning to embrace this number. I am doing more to take care of myself. I say "no" more often. I get enough sleep. I try not to push myself too hard. I take all of life's gifts for what they are - gifts.

So here's a toast. I am raising my glass. To receiving my 48th birthday as a gift. Another year.

Embracing my new stage of life...

I have found myself lately in a new stage of life. Closer and closer to a true empty nester, with grown children. And a "retirement" stage job that allows me less stress. And less financial stress. And fewer social requirements. And with this new normal, I find myself really paying attention to the world around me, appreciating all of life's beauty.

I am four months into my new career, and I still love it. I work forty hours a week, work with amazing volunteers of all ages that are the most giving people I have ever met, and am challenged every single day. It is ridiculously fulfilling. And I can see myself working there for the rest of my professional career. It has been such a blessing!

The hubby and I have been trying to figure out where we want to be. Where we want to retire. We have looked at land, and at houses, and at fixer-uppers. But we have realized that in all that we have seen, we are giving up some of what we both want in our final home. So we have settled on staying here for a while longer. So I am going to downsize the "things" we have, freshen up some paint, and focus on creating a beautiful space here.

I am not sure how I feel. The idea of a new place is exciting! But I also LOVE this home we have created over the last 23 years. We have made it our own. The tree from when my mom died, all of the flowers from my mom's house that I transplanted, my fun herb garden border, my coffee bar... there are so many pieces I love here. Of course it is far from perfect. A TINY kitchen, no master bath, small bedrooms. But I really think that it is enough for us. So I think staying is the best answer for now. We can move when we are both retired. When we don't have ties here. When hopefully there are grandchildren to live near.

So with no rush to sell this house, and only working 40 hours a week, and no sports or school events to go to, I have come to a weird sense of empty nest balance. I have dinner with friends. I go window shopping with no intent to purchase anything more than an idea. I am redecorating the house. I am cooking amazing foods for my husband and I, making sure we are eating balanced meals and even packing lunches. And I am already dreaming of gardening season.

People can say what they want about getting older. But I am genuinely loving every bit. I love my new sense of independence. I love the freedom, to meet friends for dinner and drinks, to take a weekend to see my daughter, to play a quick game of cribbage with my husband after work, or to walk every aisle of my favorite store with no purpose. I literally go to work looking forward to my day. I take in each sunrise, bask in the crispness of the winter air, and marvel at all the beauty around me. I am thankful for every single day.

And I am ready to embrace the next stages as they come. This amazing life God has gifted me with has been more of a Blessing than I ever thought I would have.